So Confused

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

Alright, I posted before about confusion spells (You can look under the flashbacks page in the forum), well, I kept feeling as if I was losing memories. Like, for a split second, I didn't know where I was or what I was doing. But it was so quick I wasn't even sure it existed. Well, now it happened for real. I was just sitting on the computer this morning, on Facebook, when I saw that one of my mom's students was online, then it kind of hit me, my siblings and mom weren't home, they were at school. It freaked me out because I had completely forgotten about them. Not really in a "slip my mind" way, but in a completely forgetful way. I know it's related to my "confusion spells"/flashbacks, because after they happen I start shaking like a leaf and get twitchy, and that's the way I am right now.

Anybody have any ideas what this could be or if this is just a part of flashbacks? Yesterday and the day before I noticed I was feeling like a confusion spell/flashback was on the brink, and I'm learning that when they come, if I just shove out every thought, it gets better, but with this, I didn't even feel a confusion spell coming, it was just utter forgetfulness.

And before anybody recommends that I seek medical help, that is impossible for me right now, so my only source of help is right here. So please give me ideas!!! I'm really getting frustrated and desperate!!

Another thing that I've been having problems with (why I have this listed under anxiety) is that I'm getting startled so easily. Not only do I shake constantly all day everyday, but I'm also jumping at the smallest things. Even when I lie down to go to sleep, I jump and jump for a while because of this strange anxiety.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I also get this, but usually it's not over so quickly, the initial shock is very sudden, but then I spend several minutes in a state of confusion and after that quite some time sort of dazed and bewildered by the whole thing often being shocked about the same thing all over again. I had one earlier about what day it was, when I realised it was Monday I was really shocked and confused, I had to think about it a lot thinking through the days, I felt a bit more relaxed about it then I realised it was Monday all over again, after that I felt really confused for five or ten minutes as if the whole world had been re-written and some how I'd missed it. I personally put it down to a form of dissociation - some mix of standard dissociation/depersonalisation/derealisation - all of those can be more likely to come about when intensely anxious or depressed but that might not be the case, I'd definitely be curious what others think of it as.

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

I'm relieved I am not the only one. I was just piecing together what the confusion spells might be, then to have this, I was really upset.

 

[silently suffering]

I get this feeling a lot as well. My therapist calls it disassociation. It's like your brain goes somewhere else because something is triggering you and it is to much for your brain to handle, so it goes somewhere else.

I know it sounds impossibley difficult, but when this fading happens try to write down everything you are feelings and experiencing. Sometimes getting it out of your head helps. It also helps me to feel my surrounding. The smoothness of a table compared to the roughness of paper. Anything to bring you back to the hear and now.

Something that has really helped my anxiety is paying attention to my breathing. When you start to feel shaky, stop what your doing, close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths through your nose. Make sure there breaths coming from your belly not your chest. Try counting 4 breaths in and 6 breaths out all the while telling yourself your safe. I use to get really bad panic attacks and doing the breathing has really helped me get control over it.

Hope this helps. Just remember no matter how hard it seems at the moment, it does get better and easier. There are planty of people here rooting for you and who are more then willing to listen and give advise. :)

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

So, that could be it even though I didn't even feel a trigger? Thank you for writing and advice!! I will definitely do that!!

 

[p-no]

SuperAnxietyGirl, what you wrote happens to me as well. I have put it down to hypervigilance and reality actually. From what I gather, it seems to me what you do is come to realize something: your mother and your siblings were indeed not home but in school, a mere fact, that you seem to not have realized consciously before that moment when you did.

When those "flash realizations" (for a lack of a better word) happen to me, they can shock me to the extent of my heart racing or me startling very much. They usually happen mainly when I have a lot of stress. I am not saying outside stress (e.g. more work than usual, a dentist's appointment that causes me worries, etc.) but rather in my brain. When that happens, I startle a lot more and more thoroughly and those "flash realizations", to me, do have a startle reflex to them, and often a quite severe one.

However, I do not see them as something bad anymore. When I come to realize they have been happening or happening more lately, I take it as a signal of too much stress and counter them and all stress symptoms by grounding work, relaxation methods, etc. Often, I find, my breathing changes either with them or before they start once again. My breathing has appeared to be very shallow then -- they do coexist, my shallow breathing and those "flash realizations".

I hope I have gotten this across right. You're certainly not alone. I hope you will find a way to ground and relax because I hope that that will make them lessen and pass. They always do for me.

 

[devildoc130]

I experience the same exact feeling. My therapist calls it disassociation as well. For me, I disassociate on purpose to bring myself away from the world, from the "trigger" that's bothering me. I'm somwhere between myself and the "normal" world. I tend to do it so much, other people ask me if I'm okay. (I do it at work. I'm in the service.) However, when I return to being in a "normal" state I am more nervous, anxious and confused. Most likely because I am somewhere where I don't want to be.

And to add on to Silently Suffereing, breathing exercises do work for some people. Try some grounding techniques as well. To bring you to the present. Remember where you are, concentrate on a certian part of your body. Mindfulness is another great practice. Either way, don't get discouraged. I know it's eaiser said then done. Keep holding on.. I've been trying hard to stay in the moment all this week. We will keep at it together. Doc

 

[Abstract]

I get this a lot too. Like Kas and others I see it as a type of dissociation. Along the lines of deja vu or jamais vu but with bells on.

I also feel a little like Alice falling down the rabbit hole when it happens. Reality shifts and I think it is that disturbance of reality that gives me the shock.

 

[SuperAnxietyGirl]

Thank you all for the replies! If our insurance stuff goes through....I'm thinking about seeking out ...this is getting sort if annoying..naturally.

I'll definintly out these ideas. Thank you again!