So, I am very confused & seek some insight

Ajay24

New Here
I think you're right Grief. & To be frank I know we could have messed around even tho he's gay. People would joke about getting him drunk because that would be the only way & it p*ssed me off. I love the guy, if someone did that to him I'd lose my sh*t.

The sad truth is I coulda without him being drunk cuz I think he really just wants to feel loved. & Unfortunately, even tho I've said the two aren't inclusive to each other, I think he deeply connects them in very negative ways. It took me awhile but the incident I brought up, what I said was lewd but the underlying focus was that he was elevated beyond other men in my life. He actually meant something. But it was only when I merged sexual wording with fondness it happened. It's only a guess tho.

He won't even speak to me now, because him & his bf came into work one night & a co-worker told me he seen the guy put him up against the wall by his throat. & Someone mentioned flying out to see him & I asked them to just keep an eye out basically cuz of it. The building also has cameras & there had been plenty of red flags before then. I've asked him to talk to me about it because the person went and told him I said it. But he won't. We didn't fall out cuz I couldn't handle loving him and him being gay. That's not how love works lol. We fell out because of that.

If I could rip him up from the hell I know he's been in I would, but I can't. I use to get calls on a weekly basis from said co-worker to come in because M was having a breakdown. & I would. He'd always have himself composed by then but I could still see it in his eyes and he wouldn't deny it. I'd just help close so he could go home sooner and most likely cry to himself. Sh*t s*cks.
 

Ajay24

New Here
& for what it's worth Foot, I don't know you but you have mentioned being offline & I don't know what exactly that means to you but I do appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post & I hope when you go online that it's like seeing a sunrise for the first time. Thank you :)
 

Ajay24

New Here
Good friends? go out of their way to make each other feel good, safe, and respected.

You're right. Yet, the term good friends is subjective. When my own family structure was lacking, thankfully, I found home. Water may run thinner than blood but it spills all the same. I sincerely do my best to offer stability & respect to those who have entered my heart. As I feel everyone should. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
 

internal

Sponsor
The sad truth is I coulda without him being drunk cuz I think he really just wants to feel loved.
i would strongly recommend that you don't do that, because you are most likely correct. it will just end very poorly and very sadly for both of you. i apolegize that this person is very obviously suffering and by proxy you are as well as you appear to be somewhat close. hopefully he will be able to heal him self a little more and create a relationship with you (as a friend) that is more cohesive and beneficial and whole. 🫂
 
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