General So What Happens During Hospitalization?

[Justmehere]

If he is in a partial hospitalization program or in a residential treatment center, he could have access at night when he is home or in the residential setting. At some specialized inpatient treatment centers, he could still have access to his phone. It's also possible he went and they didn't admit him or he got kicked out or he chickened out.

It sounds like he didn't give you a lot of information to go on in the first place. :( Maybe things have changed or he wasn't as sure about his plans as he seemed. Maybe he is caught in a push/pull attachment to you. Maybe he is being a jerk and screwing with everyone...

We could speculate about all kinds of things going on, but it would just be speculation. In the end, there is no way to tell what is going on unless you talk to him and he tells you what is up.

Either way, it is probably best to let him go. If he is not in treatment, then things will probably be like they have been. If he is in greater treatment, it is likely to get worse for awhile. When I did specialized inpatient treatment program for trauma, I couldn't really handle anything to connect to anyone back home except to put up the most random facebook postings (which I did to keep up the appearance that I was on a vacation too.) I couldn't talk to close friends or my boyfriend or my family. It was kind of discouraged to do much of that anyhow, but even if it had been encouraged, I still couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

If he isn't in treatment and intentionally lying to you, oh boy. That would be awful. That would not be something to blame on PTSD but just being a jerk.

You won't know what is going on unless you talk to him - and I'm not sure if that would change the bottom line as to if he can be in a relationship right now or if it is a good idea.

It all really stinks. I'm sorry you are going through this. :hug:

 

[Glara]

Well if he really is in treatment it's best that I don't text him about it. I guess because the vacation post I'm having doubts, and the fact that I seem to be blocked from status updates. Idk. You're right, I should just let him go. It's the story of my life.

 

[Joan]

I have been in both hospitalization for immediate threat to self or recovery after hurting self and also in a residential program for 4 months. The hospitalizations were horrible for me. It was more making sure I had nothing I could hurt myself with. I went kicking and screaming to residential treatment, but it was the best thing for me with really intensive therapy with a variety of approaches.

 

[Justmehere]

If he has asked for no texts, then yeah, I can see why you shouldn't text. But otherwise, there is no clinical reason to not text him. He may or may not be able to get those texts.

What concerns me is that you are doing a lot of guessing as to what is going on with FB, with treatment, with him. He can't guess that you are wondering what is going on. Maybe he could tell you or wants to tell you, but is guessing you don't want to know or who knows what.

When I was in the specialized treatment program, I did get a few emails and texts from people wishing me well or asking if I was ok. I didn't respond to most of them other than to say I would be back later and talk to them later. I was really embarrassed to say much more.

What I am trying to say is it is usually best to assume less and communicate more... or do the very hardest thing, and let him go for now...

Be kind to yourself. This is really hard stuff to deal with. I think you are actually handling it all relatively well. I would be going NUTS if I was in your shoes and would not be handling this with nearly the amount of class that you have.

You deserve a lot of credit for sticking by his side and supporting him for the time that you have and for letting go in the ways you have and wrestling through all of this like you have with such self honesty and compassion and heart. I'm glad there are people like you in the world who care with so much integrity and so much courage to try to figure out the right things to do with very difficult circumstances and a very tough condition of PTSD. Please take thet care of you that you can, and know that you are not alone in this. It is so hard.

 

[Glara]

I asked him to keep me posted if he could while he was in there. He said he didn't know if he could. I just don't want to pressure him while he's working on himself, I believe he knows I'm here. I know he knows it. I appreciate the compliments but I don't handle them very well. Especially when I feel so bad.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Every hospital is different. I was fortunate to get into a trauma program, and if anyone out there has the opportunity to go, and they need hospitalization, I say GO! Hospitalization sucks no matter how its done, but after its over, you will look back and thank your lucky stars that you were able to learn so much in such a short period of time.

In the USA, even if you are voluntary, you can NOT just check yourself out at any time. They have 72 hours after you request to leave in which they can hold you in order to determine if you are safe to leave. This keeps people from coming and going willy-nilly as they please. The downside of this is that if you aren't ready to leave after that 72 hour period, your voluntary admission suddenly becomes involuntary and they can indeed hold you for longer. Its all done to protect people, even though it doesn't feel like it when you're going through it. (Yes, I've been there!)

Other than that, programs really do vary. Some allow email and cell phones, some only allow you to use the land lines in the unit. Some have stricter rules than others. The content of the day also varies. Is he going to a trauma program?

 

[Neverthesame]

In the USA, even if you are voluntary, you can NOT just check yourself out at any time.

Really? I didn't know that. It's odd how much variation exists between different mental health programs. You would think with having a pretty well standardized diagnostic criterium, that there would be more consistency in regards to inpatient policies.

 

[holdenmonty]

I remember I thought about this a lot as well and since I have my wife I knew my kids would be taken care of. So I talked to my therapist about it and she said as long as your stable there is no need for hospitalization. She said that the people that need hospitalization would be somebody that would actually try to harm somebody one second and be perfectly fine the next but since I have total control of my actions there is no need for hospitalization.

 

[ISupportHer]

Of couse, I was not the patient but I saw differences in the 2 hospitals my wife was in. One was very structured and the other seemed to cancel a lot of sessions for a variety of reasons. Seemed that, for a large extent, the benefit was a safe environment (locked in) , guaranteed daily meds and seeing a Psychiatrist daily.