Social Anxiety

[LittleRed]

I was recently at a get together with my boyfriend. His sister and her boyfriend invited us to a game night with their friends and it was great until about 2 hours in. I became dismissive and hyper vigilant of others around me. I felt alone and consumed with anxiety so I sat in a corner and talked to a close friend through text for about and hour and I felt fine after that.

It seems to happen when I'm around large groups. Parties, grocery stores, and even just having friends over can make me horribly anxious. Sometimes if I have emotional outbursts at home when I have friends over, I have to hide myself in my room until I can calm down.

Does anyone else have social anxiety that pops up out of seemingly nowhere?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes, I do. For as long as I can remember. I used to take a lot of drugs in high school and then switched to alcohol when I was legal to do so. I've been sober now for 22 years. I still have social anxiety. You were clever to find a quiet place and connect with a friend. I rarely socialize with more than two people. I just get overstimulated and confused. Plus, I'm no good at chit chat. I do like people and talking to them, I prefer it to be one on one.

 

[Fadeaway]

Yes, I do. I struggle with self isolation because of it. Besides my therapist, (and I haven't had the guts to call her back after forgetting an appointment) I only speak to two people. My brother via PTSD bond, because he gets it, and my husband. Just this week I dissociated at the check stand at wal-mart because too many people were trying to make idle chit chat in line.

Other times I long to be around people and feel a strong need to connect with others. I'll chat with people at the store, or call someone I haven't spoken to in years. I just can't maintain the social side of me for very long.

 

[shimmerz]

OMG yes! T-doc explained it as a overwhelming of the senses. I started to feel it before I was diagnosed. I was completely overwhelmed by, what I now feel is other people's energy. I was too raw and open to feeling groups, was too hyper-vigilant, I couldn't keep up. So I would crash and need quiet space - and it was horrifying when I made myself continue to socialize. I just started stepping out after 8 years or so and at first was overwhelmed by others. Now I seem to be able to manage better. My only advice if you are looking for it, is to go with your feelings and stand back when you need to.

 

[LittleRed]

Thanks everyone! When I started having social anxiety I thought it was weird. I didn't used to hide myself and stay away from people, in fact I was quite the opposite! I used to be very extroverted and excitable.
Now as I'm starting to try and handle my emotions while out in public, I find it very draining.

Have you had emotional outbursts that are so draining that the only thing you can do after is fall asleep?

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, I also drop on the spot - dead out faint. Tends to be a bit of a mood killer when socializing. I don't know why....some people have issues with that. :cool:

 

[Nevermore]

Yes, I do now too, and I too used to be a sociable kind of person! I can't work out what my fear is - sometimes it's completely overwhelming, and sometimes it's not as bad. With people who I know don't understand how I feel, or why I still feel this way after 5 years, it does get really overwhelming, almost feels like terror. I think I just don't feel safe with people who don't understand because I feel like they might do or say something that will trigger me, or even just trigger shame about the way I am, and that shame can make me feel completely isolated in this world and suicidal.
I mostly meet people in one-on-ones now too. I do miss not being able to be in a group of people and just feel part of it, but I'm not. I'm scouting the room, I'm trying to see what's going on everywhere and where I should be careful. Not possible in a crowd.
sigh It's exhausting. But it's nice to know it's not just me!