Society's View Of Ptsd

[Tinyflame]

I agree with Bloom above. I only told one person but fortunately it seems to be all right. I am so lucky they were not unkind or judgmental to me. It's a relief to not have to hide it, or rather worry about not-hiding what I can't. Also, to be (all of) myself. In that way I just thought it must be very good for managing symptoms, because I can actually relax. Though at first it was kind of overwhelming/ hard to believe/ hard to remember I didn't have to hide (everything).

I pretty-much expected a negative response. But also very luckily he said he was familiar with ptsd, so between that and being so kind it makes all the difference, I am sure.

But that was a 'first' for me in almost 30 years and totally unexpected (in an amazing way). I don't think he's lying (about it being 'ok'), but even if he is it would be ok, I would forgive him. There are so many misconceptions. Sometimes I'd like to just describe it as a 'really wound-up bundle of adrenaline, nerves and hypervigilance (feeling of unsafety)".

Just a side question- Springer, is then Vitamin D defficiency a secondary side-effect? Because it would explain why I can't get enough cheese/ yogurt/ cottage cheese. (I'm not kidding, I've eaten 7 POUNDS of yogurt the last 2 weekends, each. :eek: And am not sick of it yet). I also crave for years margarine- I know that's so gross- but along with being a huge compact source of Vit D and energy, I learned it helps produce Tryptophan, for sleep, and an anti-depressant, just like turkey which is my absolute favorite. :) I feel way better physically if I drink even a small amount of coconut milk, for some reason.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Junebug,

Quite possibly...I know what you mean with the yoghurt. Vit D Def causes loss of appetite! I used to eat it for breakfast cos it was the only thing I could stomach. It makes me kinda mad that they don't check for it routinely in relation to chronic pain or chronic trauma patients. I literally feel like a different person since my treatment took affect in June. Have a little search for symptoms, you'll find that alot of them match and therefore exacerbate ptsd symptoms and make the physiological aspect of trauma harder to deal with. From memory...insomnia, loss of appetite, cognition impairment, memory loss, poor co-ordination, mood swings, depression, anxiety, muscular stiffness leading to seizures, bone pain etc etc. Suddenly I don't have hot baths every other day!!!! Simple blood test should do it. I also take magnesium for my nervous system, iron and vit c cos it helps them work. (I can't help laughing at myself preaching health advice! You should have met me years ago, I drank bottles of becks in the shower!) :rolleyes:

 

[anthony]

I believe it comes back to that ingrain aspect of what can be seen versus what cannot. Unless you experience mental illness, you cannot understand it, IMHO.

 

[Sammy]

I agree with Anthony. I just wish people could just try to be a little empathetic. They cannot understand but they could try to be kind, not judge and not jump to conclusions. None of us chose this. My family seems to think I am making this all up and I have been told I am just lazy because my nephew who was in Afghanistan is trying to work. They think I have applied for disability because I don't want to work - never mind that every doctor I have had pushed me to apply. I love spending day after endless day at home alone, nightmares every night and anxiety all the time. It is just so much fun. :eek: (Got another one of those clueless comments today.)

 

[Red Feather]

If you wait longer to explain your ptsd to people who already trust and have love for you, but whom might sense there are things you struggle with, they will be far more accepting and understanding I think. If you explain to early, in an effort for them to cut you some slack and feel pity for you so you won't feel akward around them, it won't work out so well.

I think this is a really good point. That is why I know it is better not to talk about it with people I don't know very well. It could be really awkward. That is the problem though. Like at the choir I was going to. I had to stop going because I was having anxiety about going on a trip with them, and then had a panic attack in the middle of choir practice because I had disappointed the chairman. And I couldn't explain why and what I was feeling because they were not people who I knew well enough to trust them with that.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have learned painfully and costly lessons in keeping my mouth shut. Most people simply cannot deal with mental pain. I guess their reasons are varied but it is not worth my peace of mind and sanity to deal with what other people cannot handle.

I have a few people I can talk to about my ptsd. I do not talk about it very much but people understand. I am glad I can ask for help and be understood and helped. It has made a profound difference in my life.

 

[anthony]

Most people simply cannot deal with mental pain.

That is my experience with telling someone about PTSD. Basically, it ends up in lengthy explanations with a lost look on the other persons face. Now if I tell them I'm a veteran, suddenly their curiosity peaks into the old adage most veterans are used to, ranging between "have you killed someone" to "where have you been and did you kill someone."

I keep both typically away from conversations.

 

[Queen Boudica]

A study done by some researchers in the UK went into NHS inpatient mental health wards to assess for dissociative symptoms. They were only allowed access on the proviso that there results would be revealed to nor alter the patients treatment. People are being mediated and sectioned as schizophrenic when they have DID etc and the authorities know about it, they just haven't got the resources to admit it.

.

This is exactly what happened to my sister

 

[Nicolette]

Well I guess I am one of the exceptions to the norm as I met Anthony with PTSD and after a couple of weeks of dating he gave me a leaflet on PTSD which he had made for this site. I didn't think a lot of it until I saw him ill and I felt rude digging for more information when I didn't know him too well. I never judged him or saw him as having a mental illness. I actually resented his ex wife as she seemed to know how to make him ill so my focus was more on what she was doing versus why was Anthony on the bed in a sweat for a week unable to function. I know this cheesed Anthony off but I didn't mean it; I just saw her = Anthony being ill and I wanted it to stop. I figured out the stress thing and I found the playing computer games and isolation frustrating and hurtful yet never thought of him as 'mentally unwell'. Weird huh?!

I do experience issues at times when people find out my husband doesn't work.... if I say nothing and Anthony uses his line of "I'm retired" I find I get quizzed even more later on with people making assumptions that he is wealthy etc. I actually cringe when he says that. To strangers I say he works from home on websites and leave it at that.

I have found the least intrusive and positive responses from people have come from me saying he was in the army, has been to war and saw a lot of bad things and now is a veteran. People can identify with this without having to go into mental illness and I find they tend to show a little empathy by saying "oh, he must have seen some horrible things" and it doesn't usually go past this. I do admit if Anthony says anything about the military they get all inquisitive but not so much when I say it, as if they try and go further, I simply say he hasn't told me much and I haven't pushed.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I've been thinking about this lately as my therapist is due to start again next week, and I need to find childcare in order to attend.

I don't have any close friends, but there are a couple of aquaintances I could ask. But to ask I have to tell them that I need to be some place.

I don't want to be telling lies, I'd like to be able to say can you have the children please because I need to attend therapy. But I feel that having to deal with them knowing is an added burden that I don't want at the moment.

I've tried to tell people I only know online, because it's a safe way to try it out. But the responses have ranged from changing the subject to assumptions.

It's the assumptions that I find most difficult to handle. I find myself going in circles trying to explain and it simply adds to feelings of being cut off from the world and not being heard.

 

[p-no]

Meadowsweet, Why don't you just say that you would prefer not talking about it more. It's solely your decision if you tell someone, who you tell and how much and what you tell them. And they have to accept it. This means that if you don't give in if they assume further (although having told them that you'd prefer not talking about it), you need to reinstate what you just said, maybe even a couple of times. And no, that's not rude. You are asking them if they could take care of your kids and they, too, can say no. You do not have to "pay" by giving information for child care.

Re the question itself. I read many many years ago that when therapy has a positive effect on you and you learn and try to do things different, you will "fall off the horse on the other side", meaning you will go to another extreme before you learn a balance in the wider shades of grey. This is what happened to me: At first I never told anyone anything (I mean tell people just to let them know), then with therapy I ended up telling almost everyone almost anything. I found the balance fairly soon after that and choose now who, what, how much, etc. Since every person is different and since every single relationship between me and each person, I can not see a "rule" for me. It's an individual case every time. The reactions, too, are different depending on the person. Some react in a way I don't like, some (in the past) ran. After some had run, and after dealing with the pain of that, I must say I didn't miss them. Why would I want a person close who does not deal with a person but rather with a condition. Seriously, I don't. Either take me for me or run for the hills, please. Thank you.

 

[Nicolette]

I don't want to be telling lies, I'd like to be able to say can you have the children please because I need to attend therapy.

Have you thought of saying you have an hour long appointment to attend and then gauge if you want to go further and explain that it is therapy or stop it like prime-no suggested by saying you'd prefer not to say anymore.... like putting your toes in the water first?