Because of my nature of PTSD, I have a huge, huge anxiety problem when it comes to abandonment. Last night I was contemplating suicide just to make the pain go away.
What's even worse is the thing that brought me to the edge. I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now, who is absolutely wonderful and kind. He unfortunately has a lot on his plate right now, as his father passed away a few weeks ago, and he holds two jobs. We also live about 30 minutes apart. Anyway, we were supposed to go to a fundraiser put on by my friend yesterday, kind of a tentative thing due to his schedule. On Saturday, he was at some concert and I asked him if he was still going with me the next day. He replied "I will try I promise." And after that he didn't answer my calls or texts all day. I missed the fundraiser and I was having the worst panic attack of my life...thinking either A) he's somehow injured or dead or B) he has suddenly lost interest in me and is just going to completely ignore me forever.
This morning at 5 am he texted me that he had alcohol poisoning the night before and completely was unconscious all day yesterday, and said "You're gonna be so mad at me." I replied with "Can I call you after work tonight? I'm pretty upset." and he said "Don't be upset, things happen." I am now panicking again because he thinks I am some kind of crazy woman stalking him or something when I was just trying to figure out if we were going to go on with our plans yesterday. I have a feeling that he thinks I'm upset because he got alcohol poisoning. I'm just going crazy thinking that I did something wrong and that he will just cut me off (like the rest of all the guys, though different and abusive, have done.)
Please help!!
What's even worse is the thing that brought me to the edge. I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now, who is absolutely wonderful and kind. He unfortunately has a lot on his plate right now, as his father passed away a few weeks ago, and he holds two jobs. We also live about 30 minutes apart. Anyway, we were supposed to go to a fundraiser put on by my friend yesterday, kind of a tentative thing due to his schedule. On Saturday, he was at some concert and I asked him if he was still going with me the next day. He replied "I will try I promise." And after that he didn't answer my calls or texts all day. I missed the fundraiser and I was having the worst panic attack of my life...thinking either A) he's somehow injured or dead or B) he has suddenly lost interest in me and is just going to completely ignore me forever.
This morning at 5 am he texted me that he had alcohol poisoning the night before and completely was unconscious all day yesterday, and said "You're gonna be so mad at me." I replied with "Can I call you after work tonight? I'm pretty upset." and he said "Don't be upset, things happen." I am now panicking again because he thinks I am some kind of crazy woman stalking him or something when I was just trying to figure out if we were going to go on with our plans yesterday. I have a feeling that he thinks I'm upset because he got alcohol poisoning. I'm just going crazy thinking that I did something wrong and that he will just cut me off (like the rest of all the guys, though different and abusive, have done.)
Please help!!
