Other someone help, my phobia is taking over my life

[hope4us]

i just moved into a new place and whoever lived here before me brought roaches in here and i am deathly afraid of them. ive done everything to try to get rid of them. ive taped and calk glued all the cracks, taped up the air vents, sprayed eight hundred thousand different sprays, covered everything in dish soap, used lemon scent, and peppermints, borac acid, everything. everytime i see one my chest burns and hurts so bad it feels like im having a heart attack, i see stars and feel like im going to faint, i get dizzy, my back aches, i keep screaming because its a startle reflex. the neighbors think ive lost my mind and the landlord wont get an exterminator, i have no where else to go. when i lose track of one i get so incredibly enraged that i could literally rip up everything in the entire place and smash everything til everything was busted up into a million pieces. there are no words to describe how angry it makes me when i see one in here and lose track of it. i dont know why im so freaked out by it, other bugs dont bother me. id rather be eaten alive by bedbugs all day and night instead of deal with these nasty things. i put a barrier of dishsoap all around the edges of my bed and im sitting on the white matress with nothing on it. no one understands, they just say "oh those are harmless, dont let them bother you". they dont understand the physical pain i feel every time i see one, and how it makes me so sick i cant even funtion. im scared to sit down, i stayed standing until my back was killing me and it hurt so bad i couldnt take it anymore. im scared to death to touch anything, in fear that a roach could come out of it. ive never been bit by one, so why am i so incredibly petrified of them? and how do i help myself? cause no one else will.

 

[Friday]

ive never been bit by one, so why am i so incredibly petrified of them? and how do i help myself? cause no one else will.

Have you been diagnosed with a Specific Phobia / sought any treatment for it?

Do you have PTSD in addition to this phobia?

 

[hope4us]

Have you been diagnosed with a Specific Phobia / sought any treatment for it?

Do you have PTSD in addition to this phobia?

i have complex ptsd from an abusive relationship, and i have specific phobia too, but im not sure if the phobia has anything to do with the ptsd, because there are some things i think i remember happening, but im not sure if they actually happened or not. and i am too scared to go to exposure therapy, for some reason i dont get desensitized to things like other people do. i feel like exposure therapy would just freak me out even more.

 

[hope4us]

i stayed at a hotel one time, and got eaten alive by bed bugs, i woke up with literally 50 bites all over my body, they itched like hell, it was horrible, and the hotel wouldnt do anything about it. sometimes after someone experiences something like that they might develop a phobia of them. however, i do not have a phobia of bed bugs at all... BUT i have an extreme phobia of cockroaches... even though i dont recall having any negative experiences with them. this phobia just started like less than a year ago. if one gets near me i feel like im going to die, there are no words to even describe the horrific feeling i get when i see them. so my question is... why would i have a phobia of cockraoches but not have a phobia of bed bugs? when bed begs are the kind of bug that ive actually had a horrible experience with. im just trying to understand my mind, and why it works the way it does.

 

[Whirlwind]

Are you seeing a therapist? Exposure therapy may seem daunting but as you say your reaction seems extreme.

You aren't the only one with this fear as I recall someone posting a similar problem not that long ago.

Good Luck,

Whirlwind