Sometimes Therapy Is Too Hard

[Sailorgal]

It takes PRACTICE!!!! Even the best of the best in anything need coaching and training.

Practice with your T. Practice in the mirror (i have mentioned this several times on the forum). Practice watching TV like responding back to what is being said. Anything - practice speaking up. Even if you don't feel like it, do it. "Feel" the words "No" rolling off your tongue.

Sometimes in order to believe it, you have to see it. Listen to yourself speak up. "I will NEVER ho out with you again!" Strong voice, strong demeanor.

Actors practice their parts til it becomes real...how much for yourself. :)

 

[Hashi]

I was honest and told him I would apologize. That was the wrong answer. The right answer was to tell him what I need and lay down boundaries.

I think it might be helpful not to think of things as right and wrong. Your answer was honest, it just reflects a response that you're working to change. It wasn't wrong.

Assertiveness takes a lot of time. It helps to do a lot of practise role play, I found. It's automatic to respond in a certain way, so to an extent we have to drill a new way of responding by practising it over and over again. Maybe you could keep doing this in your head - imagine the other person doing or saying something, then imagine giving your new response.

It really is like learning to walk. A lot of tumbles are to be expected. They aren't failures - it's how we learn.