Sexual Assault Speaking about it

[Anon8999]

I haven't spoke to anyone, police or otherwise, about my rape. I had to tell work for a specific reason, and I did so over email although I didn't say the word rape, I said assaulted, but I think they figured it out. Now they want me to go in to talk and I am really terrified because I don't know what to say. How do you even have that conversation? I want to tell them it's not their problem, to forget it, but I know I can't. I don't know what they'll ask me, so I can't even prepare myself on what to say. I'm worried I'll shut down and show no emotion, making them think I'm lying, which I'm already imagining they do. How did you do it, and what do you advise I say?

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I drew pictures. Wrote poetry, wrote it out in a journal. I still have a ton of difficulty speaking about it. Couldn't say the word rape for a very long time. I would try to say it out loud while driving my car, didn't work well. My therapist always made me read stuff out loud, that started to give me a voice.

 

[theunistudent]

I think I worked out what I was comfortable saying , It took me a long time to find the right words to speak out loud and it took me a couple of tries with different people. I think for me in the start when I started trying to get help I was able to communicate more effectively then I am now as after it happened i really went into survival mode and i think i would say i spent over a month maybe two in a dissociative state. I was very blunt about what happened and although i would not call it the rape word and insist it was not rape when they said that I had no problem telling them what happened and would do so very emotionally detached that I did not cry saying it for a long time ( I have since had to repeat it to 6 different people and now I can barely say it and am way more emotionally present and no longer in a dissociative state).

 

[Teasel]

Is there a reason why you have to tell your work?

Writing something down is often a LOT easier than trying to say it. With something g as serious as rape they should understand why it's difficult to talk about.

 

[Kintsugi]

I'm with Bearlinda. I do what you do, and I really don't see how it's their business. IMO I would go to a doctor, explain as much as necessary to get across your situation, and have them write a doctor's note saying you are restricted from working nights. End of story.

 

[liz81934]

I still struggle to tell people about it, as a child i never knew the words to say and shut many people out. I still struggle to say the word rape, but in this scenario I would give them details such as something really bad happened to me at night time and I am still affected by what happened. That's what I usually say to people I do not know well and what i told my boss, to begin healing I have been writing, dancing, painting, just any form of self expression helps honestly. Stress free tasks help and just spending time self reflecting helps the most.

 

[anonymous]

Unless it happened at work, they don't need to be asking you any questions about it. If it did happen at work, I would speak with an attorney before discussing anything with them.