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You want to find peace and happiness? Can I ask, are you in any kind of therapy at present. Have you spoken to a professional about what you are going through?
I hope you feel calmer soon, there are always people to talk to on here so you are never alone.
Feeling on edge could be part of the turning point Medic.
I am having a hard time at the moment due to P doc probing and triggering a deeply buried trauma one that I had buried so deeply that I had forgot about it. But in order to heal I suppose I got to face it again and see it in a better light. So P doc talking me through it might help and me talking to her about it too, but it is so painful, words are not easy to come out.