Spiritual Abuse From Toxic Christianity.

[Pencil]

it is surely more toxic when combined with a deity.

No doubt about that.

 

[Caterpillar]

@gizmo
I just have to say that the way you wore black for a while to support your daughter is awesome. So was your exit from Scientology, lol. You sound like a very smart, independent-minded person. It took me a long time to understand how intelligent people could be sucked into Christian cults, but I now understand that these people are experts at exploiting vulnerability and that it's not a comment on the integrity or intelligence of their victims. I'm glad you freed yourself from them and I hope your visit today goes well.

So I proceeded in a crusade to commit every sin I could think of. Which was.. illuminating.. to be sure. Looking back some of my 'crimes' were so naive. LOL.

Lol, some of mine were pretty silly too, though others were plenty serious and dangerous. I'm naturally rebellious and curious, so it's possible I would've been a terror as a teenager no matter what, but I can't imagine being on a conscious campaign to prove I was bad and uncontrollable helped, lol.

I also lost all respect for my mother because I immediately saw through the cult's lies and she believed them for years. My perspective on this eventually changed, once I was able to see that her history of abuse had left her vulnerable while my healthy early childhood had left me strong. Though I still don't believe any child could be expected to judge with that much wisdom. All a child sees is that the grown-ups are being crazy and that they're trapped in the madness.

Good luck when it comes to your fiance's family. Sometimes people can still surprise you with their warmth.

Oh, and Blessed Be. ;)

Thank you! The fact is that I've avoided anyone who identifies as Christian for the last 15 years. If I found out someone was Christian, I would quietly cut them out of my life. My fiance's family seems nice enough, but they're very Christian and the idea of forming any kind of relationship with Christians is ... triggering and disturbing to me. I'm currently quite content to use the 3,000 miles separating us as the ultimate avoidance measure, lol.

I'm glad you've started to form your own identity and distance yourself from the legacy of the Spiritual Abuse. It's not easy.

Blessed Be. :)

 

[Pencil]

Here's one for you @Muzikluvr :D

(Sincerely hope I don't get into trouble for this)

Link Removed

 

[silkleaves]

Hahaha @Pencil I have seen that one before and it always makes me laugh.
Yeah, that kind of is how it is for some though eh?

 

[Laura 2]

Although they kinda agreed that he was slightly, er, sort of ... you know, aah, vaguely perhaps guilty of a little something by not having 'followed procedure' by holding disciplinary hearing in her absence and without ever informing her beforehand of such a hearing (witch hunt?) and blah blah, he was simply asked to retract the HEARING ('it never happened') - not the content he took to the hearing. WTF??

OMG- another WTF in my experience is almost exactly the same. Especially before I got the case to court. The NHS local disciplinary board - without interviewing me AND refusing to hear the voice records - told her that , um, she could think about brushing up on her ending therapy procedures...

Actually, there was never any therapy involved. In reality she'd taken some pathological, obsessive sort of liking to me, thus taken over my life for nearly a year, used me as her own therapist, kept coming to my house drunk with wine and food, tried to seduce me and divide my family and so much more. It didn't just affect me, it affected my family almost as badly too.

And still her false reports have stayed with my medical records - even though there's no truth in them apart from basic facts like names and addresses. (Imagine how that endears me to doctors...)

This is, I believe, a classic case of 'groupthink' - thanks for that @Musicluvr. Very helpful in understanding this ingroup v outgroup dynamic. In other words, you can be as pure as the driven snow, innocent as a new born and, yet, because the more powerful group feels superior and that they are invulnerable then they will seek to destroy what they think of as outgroupers.

I am having one of my i-hate-humans moments now...

 

[Pencil]

In other words, you can be as pure as the driven snow, innocent as a new born and, yet, because the more powerful group feels superior and that they are invulnerable then they will seek to destroy what they think of as outgroupers.

What gets to me is not the 'group' does it, but that others, especially those in authority, fail to see it, time after bloody time.

 

[Laura 2]

those in authority, fail to see it, time after bloody time.

Is it that those in authority only get to be in authority because they have demonstrated that they toe-the-line and don't have any subversive independent thoughts in their heads??! Though I believe that most in authority know what's right and wrong and consciously refuse to see the wrong to maintain order and their position at any cost.

I'm minded of Benjamin Franklin's dictum to the newly independent Americans: "The first duty of a citizen is to question authority."
(I confess, I am in awe of the Founding Fathers, they were sooo wise. )

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

OMG it's about time this was discussed. When I divorced my abusive ex husband, I was to blame for the divorce. In fact, my former family laughed at dinner and said, "I wonder what Heather will do to get rid of this one." Not only was I shocked in hearing that but was lied to that it was ever said, especially one who calls herself a "Christian psychologist". She, my brother and my niece moved to Virginia so that she could get her Christian psychology degree (which to me, in itself, is a contradiction in terms) and, during my divorce was telling me that I was "her advisor" and that "I was going to Hell for divorcing my ex-husband for his mental abuse"; all of this coming from a so-called Christian psychologist.

WRONG!

When she told me I was going to Hell for what I did (even though my brother cheated on her, caught a VD and gave it to her and my grandmother's ring to a loose woman) apparently, she took my brother back and had a "whatever" wedding it was and I didn't go because it was hypocritical to say the least. I call her now my "Sinister in Law" because to me, even though she goes to church, even those who act like the Devil still sit in pews thinking that they do no wrong to others.

And by the way, when she told me I was going to Hell, I said, "You first." No one should ever judge you for what you believe in no matter what it is. Thou shalt not judge is part of the Christian philosophy. Wait until they find out that I speak Latin and am a budding demonologist. That will scare the Hell out of them...

 

[silkleaves]

It's so heartbreaking to hear all of this, to hear what others have gone through too from people in their lives who are supposed to love and care about them, all in the name of god, the bible, teachings but more importantly than all of that, people using that as an excuse to treat others like dirt. I don't see the point in that, never have and hopefully never will.

I can't even fathom treating someone like that, I can barely fathom that I was treated like that. And it just blows me away really that there are so many others in the world who think its okay, even the righteous thing to do to be so wicked towards others. I mean, isnt there a line in the bible somewhere about love? There has to be one...Im sure of it. Why don't they ever live by that?

 

[Laura 2]

@Ladyghosthunter - LOL at 'Sinister-in-Law', 'You first' and the Latin for demonology practice!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Well the visit went well. It was awkward at first so I just stayed on the laptop and posted. This morning we really talked a lot and it was so good. We did not talk about the bad things that happened and I think now that Denial actually has a good side. They act as if nothing happened and that was fine with me. Funny.

I am feeling so much better now. Thank all of you who responded, I really appreciated your reaching out to me.

 

[Laura 2]

I mean, isnt there a line in the bible somewhere about love? There has to be one...Im sure of it. Why don't they ever live by that?

The verses are:

28 And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?

29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:

30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

[Sorry, it's not letting me post the link to MARK 12 at Biblegateway]

It's as crystal clear as it can possibly be.

From their treatment of others, I am somewhat embarrassed to say that I sometimes draw perverse comfort from my deduction that these 'christians' really hate themselves. One can only love others as much as one loves oneself.[DOUBLEPOST=1400881229,1400881029][/DOUBLEPOST]@gizmo - hey, that's great news, so glad it all passed off with minimal actual disturbance.