Spiritual Abuse From Toxic Christianity.

[In Exile]

I grew up in a very conservative Mormon family in which the father is the spiritual head of the household. He was also a member of the lay "bishopric" (sort of like a priest) until he was removed because of his sexual abuse of my sisters. They had never done anything about his physical, mental or emotional abuse of my mother or the rest of us kids.

The church made things just all that much worse. My mother was told to remain with him and her family refused to support her efforts to separate.

I read a lot of ex-Mormon forums, and there are a lot of stories there of horrible things which happened.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My heart is just broken about all of the betrayals and cover ups by the church. I am so sad you had to go through that as well as all of the other people who shared here.

I am in a lot of pain today over these deep wounds and know that I need to work on more healing and recovery.

I think the abuses of Toxic Religon and the blind followers who turn a blind eye and gossip and destroy so many lives.

While I was going through it, it made me so sick physically to see all the evil going on.

Cover ups are keeping the secret while vilifying the victim who is broken and shattered and left alone in shame.

My heart is just breaking over all of the stories shared here.

I think all of you who shared are very brave and courageous for being able to share what you each went through.

I am amazed at how deep the wounds are here.

I read a book last night Blind to Betrayal by Janet Freyd. She was sexually abused by her father and her parents founded the False Memory Syndrome movement.

I am in so much pain today because it traces back to my abusive parents who groomed me to be victimized by so many people.

My broken heart goes out to each and everyone of you. No one should experience such abuses in their lives.

We are left alone and shattered and broken to try to heal ourselves. It happened many years ago to me. It really branded me.

All for big fat egos that they knew best. The destruction of so many people grieves my heart.

I got in touch with some real pain that is leftover and I will be working on my healing and recovery.

I am no longer naïve, gullible, vulnerable or desperately needy that I will bare my soul except in a very safe environment like this forum with all of the beautiful brave people who survived Spiritual Abuse.
I personally think it is evil. I so want to heal and recover from this so badly.

My prayers are with each and everyone of you for your own healing and recovery.

It is secondary wounding. Hugs to all of the brave survivers who shared their traumatic experiences.

 

[Pencil]

Here's the good news:

"Kathleen Taylor, a neurologist at Oxford University, said that recent developments suggest that we will soon be able to treat religious fundamentalism and other forms of ideological beliefs potentially harmful to society as a form of mental illness."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/351347#ixzz32nW5i61l

 

[Hashi]

@Pencil, I have to question that this is good news. As the online article itself points out, who's to say what's unhealthy to society? Each side or person would point to the other as being damaging.

Given our history of things like actual witch hunts, communist witch hunts, and putting socially non-compliant women in lunatic asylums, the idea that we can "treat" the brains of people who have "the wrong kind of ideology" seems to me to be dangerous news.

 

[Pencil]

I think dangerous fundamentalism needs attention, and I think articles such as this one will lead to attention being paid to the issue. When I wrote 'good' I thought of changing it to 'interesting', but didn't, and I regret that, for obvious reasons. But, we have to remember that this article will not directly lead to policy or action, but mainly awareness.

I think differentiation between 'healthy' and 'unhealthy' faith is necessary, in the same way that a distinction is made between healthy and deviant sex.

 

[Laura 2]

the idea that we can "treat" the brains of people who have "the wrong kind of ideology" seems to me to be dangerous news.

All very well said.

What is it about doctors and those in power that needs everyone to conform to their way of viewing the world...? Which, to my mind at least, falls into the category of 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'.

Who's to say that people with other forms of mental disturbance, like PTSD, wouldn't be similarly targeted for such 'special' change-your-thinking treatment and pariah status?

...oh wait...

 

[Pencil]

My first exposure to 'insane religiosity' was a visit to a charismatic church with a massive following of thousands. So there we were, packed into a movie theatre; the preacher looked the size of an ant. Next to me was a woman with a small daughter who sat in the aisle. To every statement the preacher made, the mother responded with 'Praise the Lord!!' 'JEESSUSSS!!!' and so on and so forth. After a while the girl, about 4, said, Mommy I need to go to the toilet. The woman said .... 'Keep quiet!' and then 'Praise the Lord! This went on for a while, until the little girl started crying and the mother slapped her. She never took her to the toilet.

Praise the Lord.

I would prefer this woman to be seen as 'diagnosable' as opposed to devout. BUT: it has nothing to do with what I think or feel. From the article, I suspect that the experts are onto something. I doesn't seem like narrow minded witch hunting.

other forms of mental disturbance, like PTSD, wouldn't be similarly targeted for such 'special' change-your-thinking treatment ?

I think it's called CBT.

 

[Eric Tye]

I have not read all of this thread, due to time constraints (almost time for bed here for me) but I wanted to comment on some of what I read on the first page. As a self proclaimed "Christian" (no denomination, not even "Non-denominational") I am always horrified by the abuses that I've seen from too many churches. I have my beliefs, and will willingly discuss them with others, and enjoy polite debate even with those who strongly disagree with me, but I will not, EVER, try to force my beliefs on someone else. Spirituality is such a deeply personal thing, and trying to force that on someone offends my very soul.

I believe that someone who condemns, someone who shames, someone who turns a blind eye to the pain of others, or any of the offenses I read about here is not a "true" Christian. I am aware that there may be those who read this thread that may have some aversion to biblical quotations so I will not offer any here to show what I'm talking about, but there are some strong things said against those who would be so callous or downright maliciously hurtful to others. Edit: I went back a page and saw some biblical quotes expressing what I wished to express, so I retract my earlier statement, but will not repeat what has already been posted.

I won't belabor the point, but I felt compelled to say something, and to finish this, I want to say that I am so very sorry that people professing to believe the same things I do can so blatantly ignore the teachings and cause this kind of pain and trauma. I send out my heartfelt wish that peace be found by those in pain, knowing that these are only words on a screen. I hope nonetheless that something of what I wrote can be of some help to someone.

 

[Laura 2]

@Pencil - Quite! ;) You caught my drift.
My personal 'therapeutic' experience of CBT is that it was all aimed at getting me to accept the damage that was done, the inevitability of both the offending and the failure of authorities to stop it (and no one was to blame), and the 'reality' that there is no remedy or support for PTSD and its exponential effects.

Apart from wondering why the bleep I worked several dozen pairs of socks off for decades to pay high taxes for services that are, in practice, deeply inadequate, I find myself questioning a largely amoral way of thinking/treatment that doesn't pay more than lip service to the casualty's actual injuries and has such a laissez faire view of wrongdoing. It's as if the casualty is somehow defective for perceiving and being so affected by the awfulness inflicted upon them. Rather than the more realistic probability that the amoral/Godless/unaccountability society we live in is lacking.

@Eric Tye - I liked your eloquent and sensitive post. Also, you pretty much sum up my own position. Whilst, like you, I would find it impossible and deeply offensive to impose my values and moral standards on anyone, it is at least interesting to note the correlation between the rise of post-modernist anti-religious relativism and the degradation of our societies.

I posted some Biblical refs in response to specific points/questions. Actually, not from a Christian perspective but to a) underline the staggering hypocrisy of the legions of spiritual abusers - holding them to their own 'rules'; and b) to look at the fundamental teachings before they were elaborated and subverted by ego-maniacs for their own purposes and see how useful they are.

Personally, I find if all that churchy/preachy/dictatorial abuse is stripped away then the ten commandments and loving God (however you perceive God, which might be e.g. nature/the cosmos etc) and your neighbour as yourself are brilliantly pure and simple, effective and compassionate guidelines to live by: after all, they're all there is to religion according to Jesus. (cf. "My religion is kindness"~ the Dalai Lama).

There! I've outed myself as a Christian. :D Think I'll go away now and set up a new brand - 'Commandment Christians' who don't listen to any big chief or spiritual director or anything else but stick to these few plain and simple words. What's the betting the movement would be taken over in a year by dictators, sociopaths and scammers....?!

 

[Pencil]

There! I've outed myself as a Christian. :D

@Laura 2 - I am a Christian too, and that is why I would love a 'diagnosis' so that one can make a clear distinction between religion and insanity, in exactly the same way we can talk about 'making love', 'sex', 'rape',' paedophilia', 'bat shit crazy sex insanity'. What we see clearly here and on the thread The God Debate is that when there is no distinction, the words 'religion,' and especially 'Christianity' conjure up the most horrific images - and then placed alongside sane religion, or as you say:

the ten commandments and loving God (however you perceive God, which might be e.g. nature/the cosmos etc) and your neighbour as yourself are brilliantly pure and simple, effective and compassionate guidelines to live by: after all, they're all there is to religion according to Jesus.

I have no doubt in my mind that some of the most evil insanity is committed in the name of religion as it gains 'asylum' and therefore immunity in the name of religion. And how interesting is the different connotations of the word 'asylum'.

 

[Laura 2]

I have no doubt in my mind that some of the most evil insanity is committed in the name of religion as it gains 'asylum' and therefore immunity in the name of religion. And how interesting is the different connotations of the word 'asylum'.

You're not by any chance a literary studies specialist? A deconstructionist? Yes, 'asylum' is another of those weasel words used by weaselly people....

Very sad to say that it seems to me that these 'diagnostic' criteria will never materialise and the research results will be consigned to some dusty shelf somewhere obscure.
I imagine that the problem with such criteria for reglious fundamentalists is that they will probably equally apply to a range of other psychopaths (politicians, doctors, judges, police, teachers etc) who hold positions of high authority. And that'll never do!

You might be interested in a talk by a former UK cabinet minister about narcissism/psychopathy amongst politicians on YouTube (Dr David Owen: The Hubris Syndrome) Very pertinent to this spiritual abuse discussion. Dr Owen was a medical doctor and neurologist before he went into politics and diagnoses a lot of politicians with this same disease which inflicts cruelty and pain on others whilst leaving themselves sublimely untouched.

I think the point is that anyone who has a predisposition to dictate to others, no matter how they wrap up their motivations in weasel words ('devotion to God' or 'the improvement of society', it's all the same!) is probably veering close to the psychopathy/sociopathy/anti-social personality disorder end of the spectrum.

Perhaps to make a distinction between 'religion' and 'insanity' it's also necessary to call up the need for a clear distinction between right and wrong, good and evil in regards to how adherents behave. Religion isn't wrong per se, it's the cruel, manipulative behaviour of many of those who profess to practice it. Ditto politics etc. Since Western societies did away with the clarity embodied in the Commandments and the instruction to love thy neighbour as self we just haven't had any decent, effective yardsticks.

But it also occurs to me that if we could formally nail the cruel, manipulative behaviour of those who seek and endeavour to impose religious - and secular - authority as, say, Fundamentalist Hubristic Insanity, DSM6, pp 659-830, it may at one fell swoop do away with many of the diagnoses of 'mental illness' too many others of us have to bear. (I can't remember how many times I've been told by MH professionals and read that 'PTSD is a normal reaction to abnormal events'...)

Sorry, I didn't mean to begin a dissertation!

 

[Alien Goodness]

Toxic Christianity makes me sick! Seen it for myself and it disgusts me :poop: