Starting to waking up from this after more then 20 years. Need advice.

[Survivor3]

I've come to realise that making lifelong friends is very difficult. Even when you can make headway with certain people.... They come in and out of your life on a whim. I don't take anything seriously anymore.

 

[MrMoonlight]

my therapist was telling me that action for me solves these things...like just making the call or text when you think of it don't let things roll around in my head. Friends are really tough for me to keep or make like you say S3, I need to work on my end of things you know...I don't ;think I make a good friend right now but want to stretch myself a little, see if I can do things friends do...I haven't done that for a long time.

 

[Deanna]

I know what everyine is saying but now I try to stay in the present. Everything changes when I do. You know, like my perspective will change, my thoughts aren't the same old garbage. I look for things that encourages me. For example.. I haven't been real good at reading, at what I need to be reading lately, so I'll allow myself some time here to figure out what it is that I need to learn. Something else ( a task or something) gets done or will be done the next day.
I found out that my vision is slacking after my surgery. ( blurry) I thought it was medication but that wasn't it. After an examination, I get to wear glasses again, like the days I had before my (old) eye surgery! So, now waiting for glasses to look like another human that needs help with reading! Does my blurry vision keep me from reading here? Nah.. I'll make it work.

Everything shifts, today. Which I'm glad about. I won't allow myself to get used over and over by PTSD. Life's too short

 

[Whirlwind]

I think this makes me feel more whole becouse I just I can see more clearly my path instead of me not knowing how I got here.

You aren't alone. I was denied many typical life experiences and was numb to all of it. It was painful to have a mental image of my life and realize the image needed to be entirely redrawn. I have moments where I fill in missing pieces, stunned by new realizations and my entire existence feels surreal. I try to ground myself at these times but having experienced it many times now I have learned the "icky" feeling subsides and in its place cements an understanding. It isn't always nice but I can wrap my brain around it, and it is ok.

And there are some positives in that things I suppose I would say people tend to "grow out of" ... these things are new or foreign to me. That has added an unexpected sparkle to my life.

Take care,

Whirlwind