Sufferer Still Birth

[Alz]

Welcome to the forum. It took courage to share with us what is going on with you. The main question that...

Thank you so much ! Did you have anxiety issues? People say when this (still birth) happens , the only way you can feel better is by having another baby... Do you hv more children ?
When did the nightmare end for you ? It's horrible .. But u know abroad they make you see the child and get closure .. Here it's upto u and I chose not to see my baby :( I didn't hv the courage - I JUST COULDNT .. It was too u real then . And now life is unreal .. Don't know if u get what I mean

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@Alz I knew that if you kept writing someone would come forward to share with you.:hug:

 

[ladee]

I already had a two year old... and opted to have no more children... I would not take the risk of that happening again as I knew i would not make it thru it... I have had PTSD as long as I can remember. Yes very anxious, all my life.. so I truly understand that part.
The only thing that was ever said for the reason I couldn't see here, was birth defects... I remember begging them and telling them it didn't matter, I just wanted to see my baby... they would not allow it. Here in the states they do allow you to see your still born child... just didn't happen in my case and it really added to the craziness afterward..
And yes I understand your last comment... it does add to the grief by not seeing the child... so yes, I understand.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@ladee I am so sorry that you were not allowed to see or hold your baby, your baby was reality and they stole that from you.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[ladee]

Thank you @gizmo... just one more situation that made me feel worthless in this journey..And it was a nightmare. And very surreal. And all these later it still hurts... but maybe I will get to see her again one day... in perfect form... as I have had to make myself believe, the Universe called her home for a reason... truth or not.. I has gotten me thru some very hard times... thank you for your words... they mean a lot to me.

 

[Sandstone]

Welcome - I'm glad you have found us, and been strong enough to share what you are experiencing.

I have also had a still born son, my first child. It destroys you at the time. In my case there was medical mismanagement, and it was so hard to manage the mixed waves of grief, anger and despair. In a way I had it easier than you, as my PTSD didn't show itself till many years later. That was over thirty years ago, and all I can tell you is that it does mellow with the years. I went on to have two more children, but he is still my first child, who I still grieve for even now. I wonder how he would have turned out, whether he would be settled in a relationship by now, what his life could have been.

I can't tell you when you will be yourself, I think we all live this our own way, and at our own pace. It sounds as though you have been able to find your way through hard things in the past, and I think you will find a way through this too.

 

[intothelight]

@Alz Welcome and I am sorry for your loss. Give yourself some time to grieve and some time to heal. I don't know what type of resources are available in your country, but just having the support and being able to talk to other woman who have experienced this can be really helpful. I hope you find the support here helpful.

 

[Alz]

I already had a two year old... and opted to have no more children... I would not take the risk of that h...

Ladee did you get ptsd because of the still birth or did you have it earlier?

 

[ladee]

I've had symptoms as long as I can remember. The stillbirth only added another few layers of trauma.

 

[Alz]

THank you ! The only problem is that I know of two three people who went through the same thing but none of them get anxiety .. They don't get feelings of derealization or scary Thoughts. See they never had anxiety during or before the pregnancy

 

[Alz]

do u feel better now?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Take a hundred people and put them through shit, and I bet you, every one will have different effects