Still so broken

[7lonewolf7]

Everything hurts and I feel so consumed with pain. A part of me feels like it's due to my birth control that I feel so worthless right now (i take the 3 month one so it's a lot of hormones), but I also feel like I'm just still so broken and any feeling of intimacy terrifies me where I just rather not be alive or at least feel anything. I was raped and had my heart broken all at once so any feeling of intimacy makes me relive the trauma over and over again

 

[pam4him]

So sorry you are hurting. First, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! Repeat it, often. You are alive and you have purpose in this world. Second, the birth control could definitely be adding to the emotions. Lastly, such trauma takes time to move past, it's ok for you to still feel the pain. If you're not in counseling I would highly suggest it. This link can help you get started with resources (some online even) to help you start working through this. Prayers for peace and healing.

 

[Madmaninabox]

Ya berth control can send you through a loop. I would definitely talk to your gynecologist.
Also pam4him is right therapy can really help.
I hope you fell better soon.