Ecdysis
Sponsor
I was looking at some photos today and had a strange realisation...
For me, all my childhood trauma was stuff I didn't have a choice in and stuff that I fought back against, even if that meant copping more punishment...
And I became a really independent adult... who went out of her way to make her own choices in life... to choose her path in life...
And I realised today, in my head, that seems to equate to "Any trauma that happened is my fault, because I actively, purposely, stubbornly picked/ chose the circumstances that led to it"
Which I know isn't true. But my brain doesn't seem to care. It's just this constant mantra of "YOU chose all of this YOURSELF so it's all YOUR fault"
For me, all my childhood trauma was stuff I didn't have a choice in and stuff that I fought back against, even if that meant copping more punishment...
And I became a really independent adult... who went out of her way to make her own choices in life... to choose her path in life...
And I realised today, in my head, that seems to equate to "Any trauma that happened is my fault, because I actively, purposely, stubbornly picked/ chose the circumstances that led to it"
Which I know isn't true. But my brain doesn't seem to care. It's just this constant mantra of "YOU chose all of this YOURSELF so it's all YOUR fault"