Strange Validation

[desiderata310]

There's a guy where I work who has combat PTSD. I managed to get up the nerve to talk to him about it finally. Not about specifics but about just having PTSD. Odd conversation to have at 9 am in the morning to be sure. He said he had suspected that this was the case (he's seen me in a very triggered state and having a panic attack) because of my reaction to some things and named off some of my triggers. OUCH. hard to hear that I am that obvious at work. I wanted to keep things light and continue about my day but as I was turning he said, oh wait, I want to show you this trailer for this movie (Marvel Comics) I smiled and backed away and said, "oh, I really don't like violent movies"
"I TOTALLY get that, you've spent your time in the trenches"
what?! I protested and said that what I went through wasn't really the same as what he did
"yeah, but you served your time fighting too. It was just a different fight"
Um. wow. ok. Got me crying again.

 

[Whirlwind]

That is very sweet. You may not be so obvious at work, he may just be tuned in to a different wavelength....

Nice to be seen without judgement isn't it?

Take care, Whirlwind

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Pretty cool that he acknowledges you as a fellow fighter. Which you are.
And I don't think you're obvious, if you already have PTSD it's just easier to recognize signs of it in somebody else.

I am also wondering what's with the purple bar I keep seeing everywhere. Like above. But that's completely unrelated :P

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Personally your fight in life matters not a cent.

Traumatic survival is just that. The Survival of a an event, significant enough in personal magnitude to cause the damage to the sufferer.

I suffer, you suffer, she suffers, he suffers, they suffer and so do we all. We all suffer as a result of traumatic injury, the silent injury no one sees.

We recognise that in each other.

Be it traumatic survival of a combat related nature, survival of a sexual assault either as a child or an adult. The traumatic survival of a near death experience. For me (Laurie) I would never compare what I have survived with that of another.

I fought my fight and survived, as IMHO has every one here. Fought and survived, survived long enough to get here. Survived long enough to start a recovery journey that for the sufferer, regardless of traumatic survival is a hard uphill fight at time.

Laurie

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am glad that you had this experience. I agree with the others that your PTSD might be more obvious to him because he's attune to it whereas other people probably don't notice a thing.

 

[desiderata310]

@Radise the purple bar is an ad encouraging you to become a premium member of the site.

@Santa_Laurie I wasn't trying to compare. I guess it was a combination of a couple of things. I was trying to minimize what happened to me, trying to show respect for his service, trying to disengage from a conversation that had become intensely personal for me- something I am not prone to do at work. It has all been prompted by him having a bad moment a day before. He felt he needed to apologize and I felt the need at that moment, to put his mind at ease, to explain that I "got it" and why.

This particular person is this wonderful odd goof ball sort of guy. He's probably 35 and I equate him to a puppy that just had a huge growth spurt. He's a big dog bounding around and jumping on stuff even though he's huge. He's always like that: happy-go-lucky. Talks about his PTSD openly and freely. Seeing him in a bad spot was like watching a very scary and intense storm roll through. He left the deck and when he came back he was a different person the rest of the day.

The validation was pretty ... odd. I am not sure I have really processed through that encounter. yeah.. I'm sitting here crying again just thinking about it.

@Whirlwind seen without judgement? yeah. I guess that's what that was. I like to pretend that I am fine, I am a lot stronger than I really feel. I smile, work in environments that can be extremely over stimulating, try to work through triggers (like being cornered by large men who are yelling in my face in small spaces- yeah... that happened recently) This guy has watched me for the last year white knuckling when people stand in my doorway and get loud and angry and yell. So, actually he's known for a while but hasn't said anything. That would Kind of be like calling someone out on a deep dark secret I guess.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@desiderata310 I in no way accuse you of comparing.

I use that particular term in relation to myself not you.

We have not interacted much here before now.

My point for clarity is this. I may have suffered childhood abuse and CSA. I may have worn my Military Uniform with pride.

I have met so many people away from this forum who try and make their trauma bigger and nastier than another sufferers.

You and I, and the numerous sufferers here have all suffered and we are respectful of each other in relation to that suffering.

My apologies if I mislead you with my last post.

Laurie

 

[desiderata310]

@Santa_Laurie it's ok. :) I've followed you from afar. I kinda think you're a bad ass. I didn't feel accused so much as wanted to make sure you understood my mindset. The written word is wonderful but so much can be lost in the meaning with out inflection.

It's all good.

I'm still trying to sort this out in my head.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I just love the fact that he gave you some validation. I love validation.

It is so rare in this world to so connect to a survivor.