I've thought about who some of my role models are before, but only today considered who were my favorites. My favorites come from my own family. That was a surprise to me: there are four of them. The #2 spot is tied between my eldest sister (who is a half sister), my paternal grandmother, and my paternal great-grand mother. I'll work from the #2s to #1 -
My (half) sister, 13 years my senior, basically raised me from the time I was five, after my mother was in a car accident. She couldn't have children because of what happened to her when she was younger, but she was a strong supporter of the feminist movement in the 60's and 70's and she's had a very good life being married to my wonderful brother-in-law for 47 years. She just completed her 7th round of chemo for ovarian and uterine cancer. She is my rock and today is her birthday!
My paternal grandmother was a midwife. She delivered 756 babies. Along with my paternal grandfather, they adopted seventeen children throughout their lives together. After Grandpa died, and two more husbands passed, she lived with us until she died at 96.
My paternal great-grandmother and paternal great-grandfather had five children. All of the children were under 12 years when he died. He owned a life insurance policy that named my p. great-grandmother as beneficiary. However, the laws at the time were set up so that proceeds from life insurance could only benefit men (business associates, bankers, or the father and/or brother(s) of the deceased). My paternal great-grandmother took the matter all the way to the Supreme Court of the U.S. won the case on July 27, 1877. New laws were passed allowing men to name their wife, daughter(s) or any female as a beneficiary to a life insurance policy, and separate estate proceeds going to the creditors of a deceased person from proceeds being paid to named beneficiaries from life insurance proceeds. Without this law in place, I may never had the chance to go to college.
#1 is my mother. She was the eldest of seven and the only female. She was sexually molested in a dirt field coming home from school when she was 15. She became pregnant and was forced to marry the man - those things often happened back in the "olden days" particularly when it involved neighbors. Their parents made them get their own place and "be responsible". He drank and couldn't keep a job. She dropped out of school and worked nights as a seamstress in a laundry. She rode the bus and took their child, my eldest (half) sister, with her.
During junior high school, my mother had befriended another girl who was an orphan and had been placed in different homes during her childhood. The two of them dreamed of a better future and encouraged each other. After my (half) sister was born, the friend encouraged my mother to return to school and get her high school diploma (despite the friend having decided she wouldn't continue high school herself). Three years later, my grandparents had my (half) sister on the day of my mother's graduation. My mother attended the party afterwards then went to work.
When she returned home the next morning, she was gang molested by her drunk husband and his three friends. She and my (half) sister lived with my grand-parents afterwards. She divorced her husband, worked two jobs for a while then became the personal seamstress for her friend who was beginning to become a movie celebrity. The friend allowed my mother flexibility to care for my sister and to work helping to enact laws that changed the "consensual" age from 12 to 18 in their state. (The gang molestation occurred when my mother was 17) Her former husband was not convicted since they were married at the time, but his three friends were convicted and sent to prison (for a relatively short period).
My mother continued to work as the personal seamstress for her friend, the celebrity, and also began costume designing for a movie studio. At one point, she left my sister with an elderly neighbor woman so she could go to work. The woman went out to get groceries. Her husband brutally molested my (half) sister during the time his wife was shopping. My mother saw to it that justice was served. The molester was eventually convicted to a seven year term, but died after being beaten by other inmates.
I thought about the title of this thread off-and-on throughout the day while at work. Each time I'd get a little misty eyed. I didn't know why I was getting misty eyed, but knew work wasn't the place for it and had to stop thinking about this thread. Then on the way home I started bawling at the realization who my strong role models are, for what they went through, and for the women (and men) here whose stories I've read here over the last several weeks.
Writing some about the struggles the women in my life have endured has strengthened something in me.
I know my response was different than choosing a public figure whom I admire, and I hope my response hasn't offended.
I realize now how fortunate I've been for having strong role models in my life. And I cry out to everyone here whose own story may be somehow similar to my mother's or my sister's that you may have strength, determination and the endurance to heal.
YOU are the beautiful strong women (and men) that currently touch my life. YOU I admire.
:hug:
Drew
