Supporter Struggling Girlfriend Of Combat Ptsd Vet

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[ptsdmarinegf]

Hi everyone, thanks so much for the support and advice. This is one of the hardest situations I've had to deal with in my life. It's really great to know I am not alone in this.

As of today, I still have not heard from him. I am distancing myself from him, and hopefully when he's ready he'll reappear. I am not going to wait forever though. I am giving him 2 more weeks to contact me, and if there is nothing then I will move on with my life. In the meantime, I'm going to take care of me and make an effort to spend time with friends and family.

 

[ptsdmarinegf]

Hi everyone,

Still no contact. Not contacting him is SO hard! My mind is racing with what-ifs and doubt. To make all of that worse, he uploaded a picture of him and a girl I've never met before onto his social media page. They're pose doesn't suggest a romantic relationship, but it's driving me crazy not knowing if he's cheating on me. We have discussed cheating previously, and he said he would never do that to me, but I can't help but feel insecure during this time. Cheating is definitely a dealbreaker.

I know keeping up no contact is what I need to do, but my fingers are itching haha. My heart is screaming that I need to go into salvage mode and make him come back to me. I know that's not how PTSD works though. I am pleasantly surprised with how well I am handling my emotions. I think it's because I've educated myself and I have a better understanding of what's going on in his head. This forum, the book I purchased, and ptsdasoldiersperspective blogspot have been so informative and reassuring in a way.

Please pray for me that I can stay strong. I'm still hoping for the best, but I'm preparing myself for the worst. I know I have the patience and understanding to maintain this relationship, but only if he'll help himself.

 

[MagiLisu]

I know how hard it must be not to be in contact with him, and I can fully understand why you would feel uneasy about the seeing the picture on Facebook. I know it's hard but you really need to start distracting yourself from him, if need be blocked notifications from him on your Facebook news feed. Keep yourself busy, concentrate on yourself.

Spend time with your friends and family, concentrate on your hobbies or even start a new hobby.

 

[ptsdmarinegf]

Thanks, MagiLisu. Ironically, he's taken care of that for me. He deleted me as his friend, untagged or deleted all of our pictures together, and deleted comments he made on my pictures before. Also, I noticed he deleted the picture of him and that other girl. In a normal situation, I would have laughed at the childishness of his actions, but mostly I wonder what is going through his head. That's a lot of effort to put into purging me out of his sight. In his head, are we broken up? If so, why won't he just say it to me? If he doesn't love me anymore, JUST SAY IT!

I'll be honest, I nearly broke down when I discovered this. I thank God for discovering this forum. Everyone's support has been crucial. Dallas, I really relate to your situation. I have read your story and I strive to be as even headed as you have been. I admire your coolness under pressure.

I'm trying to remain positive about us potentially having a happily ever after, but now I'm beginning to question whether I want to make this work. It's not even that I'm angry, I am hurt. Have you ever heard the saying, "We met for a reason- either you're a blessing or a lesson." I am still hoping that him being in my life is a blessing, but it's starting to feel like a painful lesson.

I've been considering sending a text at the week mark of no communication from me. Something like "I'm still here if you want to talk." Or, should I continue with my original plan of no contact at all. Thoughts?

 

[MagiLisu]

I think that is a clear message from him that at least for now he doesn't want to communicate. Whatever his reason for deleting you, you may never find out, and as painful as that is you need to start moving on and focusing your energy onto yourself and other things.

I sometimes think things like Facebook are more of a curse than a blessing.

 

[ptsdmarinegf]

Hi all,

Well, my worst fears have been confirmed. He's started dating someone else. The very same girl from the picture I saw. I am pretty hurt at the moment. I suppose I shouldn't be very surprised, he's left me before.

Thank you everyone who gave me kind words, encouragement, and advice. This forum has an amazing group of people and so much knowledge. This is where my journey with PTSD ends, though. Good luck to all the supporters out there who are still fighting for their love.

 

[ms spock]

Hello and Welcome to the Forum.