My trigger is ancient, I have survived the constant sorrows and struggled to subdue the raging storm. The light my soul has faded down and I am lost again.
I am not afraid of the wild shadows, I rode my nightmare through the darkest night and said hell yeah with a grin. Adrenaline helped me feel alive and soothed my deep despair.
By the grace of God I was able to heal and find my live within. I learned to trust and love others again. Unfortunately, it was not in the cards for me to be happy in this world.
I had the extreme missfortune of Marrying a narcissist. We were only married for ten years. Yet she opend my ild wound and turned my illness against me. She used face book, friends and family to destroy my life. It is absilute hell to have your illness used against you. She has everyone believing that I tormented her with violence and did terrible things to her. In truth she is a narcassist. A proffesiinal lier, that methodicaly destroyed my happiness and trust.
I was to triggered to go to court and defend my rights in the divorse proceedings. She used the law against me. Had me restrained from going onto my property and getting my possesions. She posted terrible lies about me on facebook and triggered me so bad that I have begged God to end my pain.
I lost my trust, my hope for humanity, my possesions and am tipping back into the dark night. The only reason I am not going willfully over the edge is love. I am a vessel of love and desire to be a good person. I do not want to let go of the best part of what I am; yet, I am fading into the numb state and list in the blur of DID again.
Thank God I have a wonderfyl trauma theropist. I have seen her for four years now. She has helped me to weather this storm; but, I am hurt beyiund measure. Know matter how much love and insite I have within me, I am ready to say hello to the dark night again.
I am so alone, hury beyound words and tired of this constant sorrow. My wounds have never healed and now my hell fire is calling me back to the storm. I do not want this but, I feel it building in me. I can not hold on much longer something has to relent. I will not serve the dark but I will destroy it with my sorrow!
I am not afraid of the wild shadows, I rode my nightmare through the darkest night and said hell yeah with a grin. Adrenaline helped me feel alive and soothed my deep despair.
By the grace of God I was able to heal and find my live within. I learned to trust and love others again. Unfortunately, it was not in the cards for me to be happy in this world.
I had the extreme missfortune of Marrying a narcissist. We were only married for ten years. Yet she opend my ild wound and turned my illness against me. She used face book, friends and family to destroy my life. It is absilute hell to have your illness used against you. She has everyone believing that I tormented her with violence and did terrible things to her. In truth she is a narcassist. A proffesiinal lier, that methodicaly destroyed my happiness and trust.
I was to triggered to go to court and defend my rights in the divorse proceedings. She used the law against me. Had me restrained from going onto my property and getting my possesions. She posted terrible lies about me on facebook and triggered me so bad that I have begged God to end my pain.
I lost my trust, my hope for humanity, my possesions and am tipping back into the dark night. The only reason I am not going willfully over the edge is love. I am a vessel of love and desire to be a good person. I do not want to let go of the best part of what I am; yet, I am fading into the numb state and list in the blur of DID again.
Thank God I have a wonderfyl trauma theropist. I have seen her for four years now. She has helped me to weather this storm; but, I am hurt beyiund measure. Know matter how much love and insite I have within me, I am ready to say hello to the dark night again.
I am so alone, hury beyound words and tired of this constant sorrow. My wounds have never healed and now my hell fire is calling me back to the storm. I do not want this but, I feel it building in me. I can not hold on much longer something has to relent. I will not serve the dark but I will destroy it with my sorrow!
