It doesn't sound stupid to feel that way. It's unfortunately part of ptsd, so it's quite normal. I think most of us 'fall apart' during flashbacks - I definately have and sometimes in an incredibly undignified mannger ! You're in good company and not alone.
What coping skills have you used in the past to help get past this? Everybody has strengths, even if we are loathe to admit them. If we can't think of any, there are always ways of learning or developing them.
If you feel like you can, describe your flashbacks. sometiems writing it out can help gets some objectivity, or it at least expresses all those feelings. gets rid of the pressure.
I always found it difficult with therapy when I'd go I wasn't always in an episode, but when i did REALLY need it I had to make an appointment with a very popular and to her credit, helpful therapist! Do you have access to Lifeline or other telephone help services?
THis next piece of advice was told to me during a flashback and sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it seems patronising. Disregard if it feels like the latter to you.
Remember that over the course of your life, you have experienced truly horrible feelings. However, they do not last forever. True, they often last a painfully long time. But they will end. When I am really struggling I think of it as building a pain threshold, though that's me.
I hope this has helped a little?
Bluesky.
