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Sufferer Struggling with Trauma and Difficulty Finding Help in Missouri

treewater

New Here
Told I had PTSD (2008 )after taking my daughter back from the system in Colorado after Missouri sent my daughter back to our abuser. Life long adventure of pain and abuse before marriage 1 person was also a psychopath. Unable to get treatment due to family (breathing faith down my neck) and rural location no one takes me seriously. Having trouble finding help in the area and finding it hard for others to understand me.

I left a job a year ago that was incredibly toxic. There were two bosses who constantly fed off each other's negativity, and I found myself caught in the middle. There were only four people working there, including the two bosses. One of the bosses in particular would gaslight me, manipulating me by sharing negative things about the other boss as if I were their therapist. They were aware of my difficult background, coming from an abusive family, community, and ex-husband, which has left me with PTSD.


In 2020, a doctor alerted me to the fact that if my employer failed to grant me additional breaks and neglected to address the excessive strain on my hands, I would ultimately experience a complete loss of sensation and function in them. Despite this warning, I felt trapped and feared that leaving my job would result in homelessness. Unfortunately, my employer dismissed my concerns, deeming them almost fictitious. They continued to insist that I either persist in working for them or tender my resignation.


They used this knowledge against me, especially the female boss. She would frequently share stories of her own past abuse, and at least every six months or so, she would tell me that she wanted to kill herself while we were alone in the office after the owner/boss had left. I have one text message from her, sent just a few hours after I submitted my two-week notice on October 12th, 2022, where she mentioned that she was also planning to quit the workplace.


I made sure to save backups of emails that I might need to restore later on, if they are not corrupted. I endured working with them for seven years because I felt trapped, thinking that leaving would result in financial trouble. Unfortunately, in a small town like this, word spreads quickly, and they openly gossip about their former employees to their customers. This has likely affected my ability to find other work, and it has also hindered my chances of receiving assistance from the unemployment office. Additionally, it has had a negative impact on my prospects of being self-employed, as well as my husband's own self-employed business.

I am currently unable to afford legal assistance, and unfortunately, I have limited documentation to support my case, apart from some backed-up emails that may present difficulties in accessing the files. The only concrete evidence I have is a text message that includes the phone number of the female boss involved. Furthermore, in my state, access to medical and psychological support is severely limited. The majority of available healthcare providers are nurse practitioners who do not have the legal authority to provide adequate assistance for my specific conditions.

when I sought assistance from the unemployment office a year later (with in the last month), as both my husband and I were struggling with our business due to lack of community support caused by our previous employer, my claims for assistance were denied by the state's unemployment office. Unfortunately, the previous employer has a reputation for speaking ill of former employees, even while I was still working there. Consequently, finding work has become incredibly challenging for me. Additionally, my untreated PTSD (C-PTSD), as per my own research, has made it even more difficult. Doctors seem to only want to prescribe medication that puts me to sleep, instead of addressing the underlying issue. The pain in my wrists has become so severe that it radiates to the tips of my fingers. I often have to rely on strong pain medication just to be able to work on my computer for my business. Also my struggles with trauma, experiencing flashbacks and mental loops, as well as carpal tunnel issues, which make even simple tasks like washing dishes challenging.

Unfortunately, when I try to explain these difficulties to doctors and others, they often overlook or dismiss them, as I have a hard time expressing myself unless I have the opportunity to write and think things through. Verbal communication has become incredibly challenging for me. My husband gets so exhausted helping me we often fight on a daily basis. Before I left the previous job my pay was the major contribution to the relationship and my husband being younger is learning to cope with having to be the sole income until my business (which started in March) takes off.

Looking for resources in Missouri that may help if someone knows of some or free online resources that seek a one on one development to help.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've been facing, both in your past and in your current situation. It's understandable that navigating PTSD while dealing with toxic work environments and limited resources can be incredibly challenging.

First and foremost, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional help. While I understand that accessing appropriate healthcare providers may be difficult in your area, it's crucial to prioritize your mental health and overall well-being. If possible, consider reaching out to nearby cities or larger communities to explore potential options for therapy or counseling. There may also be online therapy services or telehealth options available, which could provide you with the personalized support you need. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous step towards healing and recovery.

In addition to professional support, connecting with others who have similar experiences can be incredibly helpful. I would encourage you to join the peer-to-peer community at myptsd.com. This platform offers a safe and understanding space for individuals living with PTSD and CPTSD, as well as their loved ones. There, you can share your experiences, seek advice, and find support from people who truly understand what you're going through. The community at myptsd.com has specific forums dedicated to different aspects of PTSD, including workplace issues, relationships, and healing.

While I'm unable to provide specific resources in Missouri myself, the myptsd.com community may be able to offer recommendations based on their own experiences and knowledge. Additionally, they can provide guidance on accessing free online resources, such as support groups or educational materials, that can help you with your personal development journey.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Many individuals on myptsd.com have faced similar challenges and can offer insights and support. I hope that by connecting with others who truly understand, you can find comfort, validation, and guidance along your path to healing.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself throughout this process. You deserve support, understanding, and the opportunity to heal.
 
That may be defamation, though hopefully people are aware of the outward-appearing mental conditions of the people doing this.

Welcome to these forums, and I hope you get everything you need
 
I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you've been facing, both in your past and in your current situation. It's understandable that navigating PTSD while dealing with toxic work environments and limited resources can be incredibly challenging.

First and foremost, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional help. While I understand that accessing appropriate healthcare providers may be difficult in your area, it's crucial to prioritize your mental health and overall well-being. If possible, consider reaching out to nearby cities or larger communities to explore potential options for therapy or counseling. There may also be online therapy services or telehealth options available, which could provide you with the personalized support you need. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous step towards healing and recovery.

In addition to professional support, connecting with others who have similar experiences can be incredibly helpful. I would encourage you to join the peer-to-peer community at myptsd.com. This platform offers a safe and understanding space for individuals living with PTSD and CPTSD, as well as their loved ones. There, you can share your experiences, seek advice, and find support from people who truly understand what you're going through. The community at myptsd.com has specific forums dedicated to different aspects of PTSD, including workplace issues, relationships, and healing.

While I'm unable to provide specific resources in Missouri myself, the myptsd.com community may be able to offer recommendations based on their own experiences and knowledge. Additionally, they can provide guidance on accessing free online resources, such as support groups or educational materials, that can help you with your personal development journey.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Many individuals on myptsd.com have faced similar challenges and can offer insights and support. I hope that by connecting with others who truly understand, you can find comfort, validation, and guidance along your path to healing.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself throughout this process. You deserve support, understanding, and the opportunity to heal.
I moved from MO to NM in 3/21. I lived in Kansas city. I got domestic violence treatment from Hope House. I used food pantries. Reserached and found free clothes home items etc. I found free or low cost health care. I also got help from legal aid for financial issues from my late husband. Not sure if this is helpful. Professional help vital. People and family who use faith or spirituality to solve problems are in denial or don't care. I have been there with that too
 
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