Stuck!

[Bill Dickerson]

I'm better than I was a few years ago but I feel like I'm just stuck in quicksand. I seem to have reached a spot where I can't move forwards.

Each day is the same, no motivation, lonely, isolated. Therapy is a reason to get out of the house....yea....

I try to find something to be interested in but it doesn't last very long. I start a project to only lose interest a week or so later. Nothing seems to fill the void. No purpose just marking time.

I found my purpose in life, where I fit in the universe, what I was damn good at, poof it's gone. Can I ever find happiness again? I need to do something but what.

Anybody else feel stuck? I've reached a place that's better but it's not where I want to be.

 

[Supercd]

I get stuck a lot and I drown that with work. It works for a point.

Competence is an escape from the feelings of worthlessness that come with being idle :barefoot:. For me.

The problem is how much I value idle time and myself and my thoughts. I can only speak from a personal stand point. Not really one of PTSD. Maybe worth considering?

Where do you want to be? Happy or competent? Or is happiness contingent on only competence? :cool:.

Why does no job or project have you feel stuck? Are you bored? Depressed? How would one of those things alleviate your stuck?

(Not accusations! :) Just questions.)

Don't mind me it is late and coffee :coffee:.

Also: a great reference on Stuckness!

http://www.fluentself.com/blog/category/stuckification/

:D

(My husband gets a big kick out of this site :rolleyes: and it's cute to boot!)

 

[Gamereign555]

Well I'm a drug addict. I am sober now, but I am also constantly trying to fill this void and meaning in life. A lot of days it just feels like I'm a computer program trying out things that will eventually bore me but I hope to one day find some kind of peace.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I feel stuck in a way.

Or maybe it's more a feeling of worthlessness? I'm not quite so sure!

We live in a world where we're judged by what we do. Sad, but true. And, when you don't...can't work, like me, there is a feeling of being "less than". Don't believe me? Well, try meeting someone new. I guarantee one of the first "getting to know you" questions is "what do you do?". And, when what you "do" is fight back from trauma, you're not exactly looked at admiringly.

So yes, I feel "stuck". Stuck in a world where I am fighting back in every way I know how, but still... Well, you know how it goes.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I was a father but my kids are grown. I knew my place and worth then. I had a job that I was good at. I knew my place and worth then. I was able to make a small contribution to the world. I knew my place and worth then.

Those things are gone. I no longer know my place or worth.

I wander looking for those things now. It seems like an endless journey.

 

[blynn895]

I can totally relate to you all.. I'm a recovering alcoholic (definitely alcohol abuser, tons of alcoholics in my family, so I quit really early into my drinking), now have 20 years sober, but always looking for that "something" to fill the void, which is just a gaping huge hole with the depression/ptsd.

I'm at a really "stuck" place for past few months especially. I've been off on disability since 2007 and my way of avoiding things was work, so lost that.. and it really did define me, my self worth and identity etc. I had to let go of that guilt of not being able to work, to realize it wasn't laziness as my family would have said.. you worked unless you were dead in my family.

Then I lost my job of caretaking/nursing my ill husband (he got better and that was the end of it,long story) and really have had to face myself in the mirror, alone for the first time in my life. My daughter has her own trauma issues, is getting worse not better with "treatment", so we don't really get along either. I felt so alone this holiday season, I was alone...for first xmas with no one. I feel like a shut in some days.. i shut myself in, fear and anxiety mainly, but no self esteem too.

I totally get you Bill when you say you've lost your place and worth, I feel the same, am trying to find a way to get that back. I think without feeling you have a purpose in life, its very hard to keep on going. But we are valuable people, we just are wounded in a way.

It sounds morbid, but I was thinking today that I wished the abusers had just beat me physically until I died, rather than pick at my soul with the constant intermittent and various abuse until now I have a rather large open wound that won't heal.. you know? I've tried everything to get it to heal over, its so hard. Knowing there's other people with the same problems even if for different reasons does help me, we can support and understand each other.. I know no one in my personal life who really "gets" it. So thanks for listening and keep talking..:)

<Inserted Paragraph Breaks>

 

[Heather]

I've reached a place that's better but it's not where I want to be.

I know exactly what you mean! I'm in a better place than I was last summer but I too feel stuck, isolated, alone and basically with no purpose.

I have nothing going on right now, not even therapy which would be a big fat waste of time anyway. I think depression plays a big part in this as well. I probably just need a good kick in the butt with a hefty dose of motivation - easier said than done.