No I have mostly been immobile or mostly paralyzed since I had my last brain surgery in December.
From that point on, there has been nothing but one setback after another, which my earlier postings on this thread, as well as my profile page, spoke to. And as of tomorrow I will have been in the hospital alone for 14 long months - one very long and troubling battle which only some on here comprehend or know that much about.
And no, I have no window in my ICU room, hence why I posted my wish for pictures out other members' windows. And why I furthered tried to explain that wish just recently in here.
Just because I recognized that it was hard for those on here who do support me to keep stopping by and wishing me well, and chose to offer them some easier ways of connecting with me, does not mean that I am not in pain or agony. You may feel that visiting is the most difficult thing for you, but when visiting hours come, no one shows up here for me, and when they are over, they are in no way over for me.
I even took time out in this support thread to read about your situation (and others' too) and to genuinely respond to your questions about care giving. So although you may not wish to know how I am doing or what really I am dealing with, as that forces you to invest in someone else and their problems, please do not put me in the ground or in some palliative nursing home while I am still fighting tooth and nail medically, mentally, physically, and legally for my life. Fighting to get back home where I should have already been by now and where my boys are. Everyday I remain in here in ICU hell means exponentially greater odds that I will not survive this medical nightmare.
Can someone help me out on here, as I can not answer this post when I come to this thread for some support or a little cheering up or at least a little escape while my body continues to be unable to defeat this latest virus/secondary pneumo infection? And any further surgeries are not an option unless my body wins, yet the tumor and abscess inside my brain continue to grow and spread thus decreasing my chances that surgery will be successful even if it can be performed one day.
Please do not dismiss the gravity of my situation simply because I make every effort to give more to others than I ever ask for myself, even in this thread which KP kindly started for me because I do in fact need such support.
Sorry, I gather I feel hurt,
Alex
