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spmitchell3

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Hello everyone.

I just joined on the day I'm writing this. I have found this site to be very helpful. My wife was diagnosed in May with PTSD caused by trauma experienced throughout her life. I suppose I shouldn't go into detail because I certainly don't want to violate her privacy in any way should she find her way to this site. While she's had PTSD for probably the last 20 plus years no one recognized it. Each therapist she saw figured she was just depressed and prescribed meds...which helped but only put a band-aid on the problem. It wasn't until this year when we started seeing a marriage counselor after she realized she couldn't keep pretending everything was okay any longer. It was this marriage counselor who finally connected the dots and suggested she see someone that specializes in PTSD to see if that was the root of our problems. Sure enough...the therapist recognized it almost immediately and she's been doing EMDR therapy since about the first week of June.

I've found this site to be so useful because the posts from those with PTSD and from spouses of those with it have helped me better understand what she's going through and why she is the way she is. One thing that was particularly distressing for me was to hear her say that she does not feel love for me and she doesn't think it's the PTSD that's causing that. It was confusing to hear her say she doesn't love me and yet want me to be here for her - to support her through this. I guess, in a way, I felt like I was being used. Reading many of the posts here has been a breath of fresh air for me and confirmed what I suspected - that the PTSD probably is the reason she doesn't think she feels love and that, deep down, she probably does love me very much and just doesn't recognize it right now.

So - thank you all for the information found here.
 
Welcome to the forum. I'm a sufferer and I do recall times in my life when I didn't feel emotions hardly at all. So your assumption may well be the case in your wife's being unable to feel love for you at this time. There is hope.
 
Glad you found this site. Did you wife have any early childhood trauma? If so, that could play into what you wife has said. As hurtful as that must be, it may very well be a defense mechanism.

I have to say, I have a lot of respect for the fact that you don't want to violate her privacy.
 
@spmitchell3 Welcome to the forum!

Check out the supporters section as I believe you will find many threads and posts where members have shared some things similar to what you are experiencing. The isolation, pulling away and emotional numbness of a spouse are difficult to deal with, but not at all unusual with this disorder and they are not permanent. You will find things will change as she begins to heal so keep the lines of communication open and most importantly take care of yourself too.
 
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