Supporting my friend with PTSD

[Munchkin2408]

My best friend was diagnosed with ptsd along with many other things. K has been my friend for 15 years and I new the things she has been through as a child I just didn't know the extent of it until I started reading her blog on here. I read a blog tonight that totally made me angry at her. I need to know how I can best support her I never feel like I know what to say and I feel truly bad about this and I don't feel like I am being a good friend.

 

[EveHarrington]

Did she invite you to read her posts?

 

[Munchkin2408]

Did she invite you to read her posts?

of course she did I wouldn't of found it without her telling me. The only reason I am angry at her specific post is because she mentions things she wants to do to herself and I know what she is capable of so it angered me I am not angry at her just the fact that I don't know what I can do to help her. Maybe nothing? Just let her vent about how she feels on her blog. Maybe I shouldn't read her blog and just let her tell me if she is having a bad day and how I can help. I think maybe that is what I'll do.

 

[Never_falter2]

i think your Idealfall asking her what you can do to help us a good one.

 

[Sweetpea76]

If you cannot handle reading her posts you probably shouldn’t read them.

You can’t help her, fix her, or make things better. She has to work on her own mental health. All you can do is listen and support. Judging what she writes or emotionally reacting after reading isn’t going to do her or you any good.

 

[EveHarrington]

of course she did I wouldn't of found it without her telling me. The only reason I am angry at her specific post is because she mentions things she wants to do to herself and I know what she is capable of so it angered me I am not angry at her just the fact that I don't know what I can do to help her. Maybe nothing? Just let her vent about how she feels on her blog. Maybe I shouldn't read her blog and just let her tell me if she is having a bad day and how I can help. I think maybe that is what I'll do.

See....that’s the thing. I am pretty sure that most of us have posts where we were just venting in the moment. Someone in our lives comes along and reads an “in the moment” freak out/vent and suddenly it’s a huge mess.

Yes, I speak out of experience. I gave my boyfriend links to articles on the site. He found my account on his own and both times he’s read my posts, it was a huge blow up because I was posting about something “in the moment”.

I know I never should have given him links to this site, so that’s my fault. But he can’t stay away, keeps reading my stuff, and it’s causing major problems. Like many others, i talk about things here that I tell no one. People IRL finding out anonymous things about me? Oh, it’s not good.

 

[joeylittle]

The only reason I am angry at her specific post is because she mentions things she wants to do to herself and I know what she is capable of so it angered me I am not angry at her just the fact that I don't know what I can do to help her.

That's about you, not about her. You feel helpless, frustrated. Your reaction is very normal.

Use this site in the Supporter section to support yourself. The reaction you are having is really a very common one, and you'll see that in threads here, by other supporters.

You'll learn to support your friend by learning about how PTSD affects her, and others. You can learn what we (sufferers) say to each other, when we are getting overwhelmed. And it will all start to make sense to you, if you keep reading, be patient with yourself, and keep your real-life relationship happening in your real lives.