My name is Sam, I am a sexual abuse survivor.
When I was six years old, my sister had a new game, she was 11. It was a game that an older man had taught her when she was about my age.
She laid down, and undressed herself, and said I could touch anywhere I wanted to touch. I was curious and so began to explore. Later she let me touch myself, and it felt really good. This went on till I was 10. I thought this was a special thing between her and I, and our parents were physically abusive, so I thought, this is what family was really like, this was love.
Later, she had us, my younger brother and my older sister, come into our parent's room when they were gone and play "house". Where her and my other sister laid on the bed, and we came home from work, and made them feel good. It happened similarly in the bathroom, and in the barn.
I was completely convinced she loved me, and I was wrapped in the arms of love itself. She began to be abusive emotionally. She yelled and shook me, she hit me. I was hurt, and I thought I was doing something wrong to have her hate me in this way. So I tried harder, pushed myself and in doing so annoyed her, and became codependent. Finally, she ran away three years after she began abusing me and my siblings. I was rejected and destroyed.
The acting out began soon after, I was always getting into trouble, and getting beaten. I was finally in trouble with the police, and at the age of fourteen or fifteen, put on probation.
My parents threw me out of the house months after that. I lived in a porch in November, in Wisconsin, eating bread and bologna sandwiches I bought with paper route money. I spoke a handful of words to my parents for three years.
When I was about 16, I went to an adult video store with a much older friend. It was there that a man approached and fondled my genitals. I ran out of the store.
Enough for now...
Thank you for letting me share,
Sam
When I was six years old, my sister had a new game, she was 11. It was a game that an older man had taught her when she was about my age.
She laid down, and undressed herself, and said I could touch anywhere I wanted to touch. I was curious and so began to explore. Later she let me touch myself, and it felt really good. This went on till I was 10. I thought this was a special thing between her and I, and our parents were physically abusive, so I thought, this is what family was really like, this was love.
Later, she had us, my younger brother and my older sister, come into our parent's room when they were gone and play "house". Where her and my other sister laid on the bed, and we came home from work, and made them feel good. It happened similarly in the bathroom, and in the barn.
I was completely convinced she loved me, and I was wrapped in the arms of love itself. She began to be abusive emotionally. She yelled and shook me, she hit me. I was hurt, and I thought I was doing something wrong to have her hate me in this way. So I tried harder, pushed myself and in doing so annoyed her, and became codependent. Finally, she ran away three years after she began abusing me and my siblings. I was rejected and destroyed.
The acting out began soon after, I was always getting into trouble, and getting beaten. I was finally in trouble with the police, and at the age of fourteen or fifteen, put on probation.
My parents threw me out of the house months after that. I lived in a porch in November, in Wisconsin, eating bread and bologna sandwiches I bought with paper route money. I spoke a handful of words to my parents for three years.
When I was about 16, I went to an adult video store with a much older friend. It was there that a man approached and fondled my genitals. I ran out of the store.
Enough for now...
Thank you for letting me share,
Sam
