T-doc And Mdma

[shimmerz]

May I ask advice as to what is responsible detail to go into (if at all) in this forum regarding personal mdma sessions and T-doc's take on said experiences?

 

[joeylittle]

We've had a number of threads on MDMA; I don't think posting about it should be a problem. Be prepared to be met with statistic-type things, and I'll just kick things off with the statement that Ecstasy available on the street is likely to be a different chemical composition than the open-label MDMA used in clinical trials. Clinical trial MDMA is manufactured to a consistent, measurable standard. What you get on the street is often riddled with additives, some of which are quite dangerous.

Having said that, I'd say go for it!

 

[Ed Norton]

The only caveat is that MDMA is neurotoxic and not without risks.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, @joeylittle , you are absolutely right. I was extremely careful to study (for 2 years) the effects and so on of mdma and the first thing that was of extreme importance was that it was absolutely clean mdma. Ecstasy is NOT mdma and mdma is NOT ecstasy. This is a huge safety issue. I cannot stress this enough. I will come back to this thread a bit later as it is a little involved and I am still processing. I thank you for your okay on this and I would like to post about some experiences. I would like to request an okay on that as well as I do not want to lead anyone to believe it just 'works'.

Yes, @Ed Norton , there are many caveats and these must be respected. This was part of the conversation that my T-doc and I spoke about as he did ask what safeties etc I put into place. For more information maps.org is a great resource. I will take this one slowly if it is deemed that this is an appropriate topic to post to.

 

[Little Flower]

I don't understand this terminology Would you please elaborate

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Shimmerz, I have no first hand experience of this, I'm a bit of an old fuddy duddy compared to the amazing young anarchists in their twenties who are creating stuff like the various "Silk Road" replacement sites (I gather that about a dozen or more of them popped up soon after the Silk Road was taken down). those sites are supposed to have sellers offering some excellent quality goods, and those sellers are interested in building positive feedback and reputations, and compete to attract and retain customers.

You'll need a secure tor browser, something like an up to date copy of "Tails" that allows you to boot off a CD so it cannot be corrupted, and which leaves nothing behind on the computer to show where you have been or what you have done - make sure you learn how to use it too, so that you don't blow your cover by doing a gargle search or some other simple mistake, before you go exploring the dark net.

and you'll need a good bitcoin wallet with two factor authentication - again I have no first hand experience.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

It seems like an option, but I'd say be careful.

I took mdma without any therapeutic supervision and found it a bit intense. Lots of heavy feelings downed on me all at once. Then again it was possibly not very good quality, maybe the stuff @joeylittle is referring to. I was a bit of a young fool in those days.

 

[shimmerz]

found it a bit intense

This is something I want to address first and foremost. I had a friend on another trauma board who decided when she saw my results with mdma that she wanted to try it. She didn't research and she got ecstasy. i warned her but she could only find ecstasy. Bad idea. When we sessioned with her I could see it right away. She struggled and the information was not clear - it was tainted and confused.

The one thing I know is that mdma in pure form allows you just enough information and insight so that there is a 'removal' of emotional investment of the things that it allows you clarity with. It gives you bits and pieces of the whole story - just enough to process. Ecstasy does not do this as it is mixed with other substances that can mess you up.

One thing that mdma does is create a clear and non ego driven path to things that are hidden in the brain. There is no emotional response to it - just an almost 'standing back' - just like they try to teach you in therapy. A viewing from afar so that you can analyze with your 'adult' brain but see the fragment of yourself that has been damaged. With complex PTSD this may take a few sessions as the bigger the trauma the more steps there are to clarity. I will post examples shortly.

 

[shimmerz]

"Silk Road" replacement sites

Thanks so much for this @Anarchy . I was lucky and even though I am a 'fuddy duddy', I was able to find someone who would get me the pure stuff. I am not addicted to alcohol nor drugs so this information came from someone who knew who could get the pure mdma (this was years ago) and I had to be very diligent and patient as it was not so easy to wait for the pure.

So this type of buying online I know nothing about and would be hesitant to do so. You give great ideas as far as security of online transactions etc.

For those that don't know about silk road here is a link to what it actually is.
[DLMURL]http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/apr/30/silk-road-darkmarket-openbazaar-online-drugs-marketplace[/DLMURL]

@Little Flower what do you need elaboration on? What is confusing you and I will try to clarify.

 

[Little Flower]

Nothing I guess. I will study it myself. I'm just very unfamiliar with ex or any drug like it or why it be used in conjunction with PTSD

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

It was actually pure mdma (crystals). I've taken pure mdma quite a few times, that's the only time it went "bad". The emotional investment was pretty big, couldn't distantiate myself from my feelings, at all...

The other times it was quite pleasant but I imagine very different from controlled intake in a therapeutic setting.

 

[shimmerz]

I didn't do therapeutic setting. How long ago and how old were you when you took it Radise? Do you mind my asking? Also, did you take it to enjoy or because you knew you had PTSD?