Taking a deep breath while trying to understand some physical aspects

[UnKnown-Self]

I have been doing some research on YouTube in regards to CPTSD and the physical symptoms. One video that caught my attention actually had nothing to do with PTSD. It had to do with how much more of our work and leisure time is spent on computers.
Of course there was the usual point of it leading to lack of natural, necessary movement and the stress causing carpel tunnel yada yada. There was one point brought up that made me listen and instantly make a connection.
They said that one very rarely sits in a position that allows full expansion of their lungs. This affects the oxygen that makes it to the blood and other organs and I only half heard what that meant to the body. Nothing good of course but my mind was reeling. How many of us who as children spent time crunched, trying to be unnoticed and simultaneously holding our breath ready for assault? Then came puberty and with it the inward shoulder curl of trying to hide the shameful changes in our bodies. We grow into adults the tension settling in our shoulders and neck only occasionally realizing how tense and hunched we are. Like I am noticing at this moment.
Never filling our lungs enough to breathe IN and OUT fully, naturally or necessarily.
Regular people notice the bad posture and feel sympathy or revulsion of our noticeable lack of self-esteem. I have seen the looks and heard the timber of the voices too often not to recognize it. I instinctively move away as quickly as possible as shame crunches me even more.
Hearing that YouTube caused a shift in my thinking and I am still trying to sort it out.
How many changes to our bodies do you think the development (living through hell) of CPTSD caused?

 

[ladee]

I don't breathe deep enough, I never fully relax from keeping my body in fight mode for so many years.... chronic pain. From pushing my body so hard in my work, being dissociated so much of the time... simply not aware of the wear and tear. Until now... when I am no longer work full time...
Lousy posture, but am also large 'chested', and that contributes.
Not feeling 'worthy' of good shoes while working... I know that would have made a difference...
Not eating right, because food is a hassle.
So many things... I understand .... and now that i don't have to work all the time, being resentful that my body requires so much attention,,, not make up and perfume and hot baths... pain meds, anxiety meds, and essential oils to lower the pain level... tho those do smell awesome, resent why I have to use them for pain....

Have been working on this very issue @Alice.in.Wonderland , because now when I have time, I once again see what PTSD has stolen from me.... but will take my power back eventually.... but going to feel my feelings in the meantime....

Great thread !!! I bet we are going to find many with lousy posture !!! Can't carry all the weight of our lives without it showing up somewhere....
Gentle hugs !!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I take very shallow and fast breaths. Drs notice it every time. They tell me to take a deep breath in and I have trouble. I had Drs get upset at me due to that.

I also hold my breath, not meaning to. I can hold my breath under water for a very long time. Usally long enough that people are getting worried above the water. I never timed it though. But Drs have asked me to stop holding my breath when I had no idea I was. After my 2nd back surgery apparently I was holding my breath as I woke up to people yelling at me telling me to stop holding my breath.

I also walk huntched and always look at the ground. I also look behind me a lot. People notice that too. A co-worker asked me, all serious like, if someone was following me or something.

I am sure I hold in tension but with chronic pain, its hard to know where.

I also always sleep in a ball. I got used to sleeping that way back then. I MUST sleep on pillows even in a recliner or on the couch. On the bed, when I slept on it, I had to have a super thick pillow top and had to have a very thick memory foam thing on it. If I feel anything (or if I can feel the edge of the pillow) then I can't sleep. I am used to having things poking me back then when sleeping and so I am not sure if its the avoid that feeling or what. You'd think I could sleep on springs being used to it but nope.

There are many things, physically, that I bring to adulthood with me. I have a very unusal pain tolerance. That has come up with Drs too.

Anyway, yep, many things. I never see them as problems though. Maybe I should. I don't know.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I just mentioned the breathing thing to my stupid nurse practitioner when I saw her last week. I take very shallow breaths. It's been driving me batty. And like @lostforgottensoul i also hold my breath too and have never been able to figure out why. My posture is fine though, and I have always had very good posture.

 

[void]

Gawd, I wish I didn't relate to everything y'all have posted!
:(:grumpy:

I think that NEGLECT is part of this also...not just abuse.

I was in session once, and I had ONE spontaneous deep full breath.............IT IS THE ONLY TIME IT HAS EVER HAPPENED!

Once, in my entire life.........a fully free unrestricted breath. It never happened again.

Thing of the absurdity of it all!!.......that I can remember a SINGLE breath!

I long for it again......:cry:

My spine and chest have 80% less movement than normal acc. to the Physio......months of PT.....nada.....b/c it C-PTSD.:(

 

[WishfulThinking123]

I definitely hold my breath if I get too nervous/scared/anxious. I also take shallow breaths and feel all the muscles in my chest and arms tighten...like whats happening now. I definitely have always carried around a lot of physical tension due to the constant conflict, yelling, door slamming, stomping, banging on walls, etc.. The world is a very unpredictable place. Very interesting thread.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

The breath work was a game changer for me, physically and mentally. I was a shallow breather all balled up into myself, tighter than a drum. Don't forget that we're also taught to suck in our guts to look skinny and shit and to just "suck it up" when expressing emotion, etc. It's no wonder we're shallow non-breathers more often than not. I'm still disturbed that it wasn't/isn't taught in every home and school from birth and made a regular part of each day. It's one thing I was pretty sure I had under total control since I was still alive and stuff, but little did I know...woah.

I have to stretch each morning before getting out of bed (unless my bladder has other plans, but then return to stretch) to be able to move more freely throughout the day. That's when I start my first breathing exercises of the day. Deep breath in through the nose as you count to 4, hold it as you count to 4, exhale gently through the mouth (like blowing out a candle) as you count to 4, hold that space and count to 4, then repeat, slowly increasing the numbers as you feel lead to and comfortable with. There is no "right" number. If 4 is too much, lessen it to what feels right. I do a few restorative yoga poses in bed with extra pillows for support, too. I definitely feel the difference when I don't. I practice the deep breathing on purpose whenever I go to the bathroom, have to wait at a stop light, waiting for water to boil, during commercials, while walking and breathing as I count with my steps, while waiting in line, when I feel like cursing someone out, etc.

I suffer with lower back, left shoulder (was previously my right one - was advised a complete shoulder replacement was my only option for relief - however - I opted for alternative methods and now have full range of motion restored - but my hands, wrists and forearms ache quite a bit), shoulder blade, jaw and neck, knee pain, bone spurs on both heels and one ankle, left hip pain, ribs often popping out of place along with the sacrum, random traveling pains depending on what I do and how much of it, and according to the docs, much of my pain is due to severe osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia,

With the various pains severely limiting my range of motion, the yoga poses are the only way I've found I can comfortably try to open up some of the more restricted areas. I've taken a few complimentary yoga classes through the years, but it hurt too badly trying to get up and down and move all around and it was anything but pleasant, so I just do it at home with you tube, always choosing the gentlest forms and only doing the stretches/poses I can safely get in and out of.

Chair poses and bed poses are much kinder to this meat coated skeleton than the floor poses, but sometimes on a real good day, I can manage a few, as long as there's something close by to help me up. Tai chi is my next interest. It appears to be quite gentle.

Hula hooping is a fun one that strengthens the core. Once you learn how, you can stand in one spot and hoop your heart out. And what fun to get to act (even more) like a fool at my age. I have to be mindful to not get too carried away with it. I have small ones for arm hooping on the days my arms cooperate and a big one for waist hooping. The bigger it is, the easier it is to learn how to waist hoop. Never ever thought I'd be doing it.

The mini-trampoline is a good low impact exercise option that you can always increase the intensity of if you wish to. Mine has a safety bar that helps, but I still busted my ass getting up on it one day, so pay attention!! lol I put a wanted ad on craigslist and found one used. I never buy this stuff brand new.

Having bone spurs on my heels makes it hard to walk long distances or trek uneven ground and the mini-tramp makes it possible to comfortably walk/jog/run at whatever pace I want for however long I want. Indoors or out. Short bursts throughout the day are greatly beneficial, too. Move that lymph! (is what I tell myself as I jump) Otherwise, if you see me running, you better run, too, because that means something's after me!!!! lol

On rainy days, or if I choose fuel with things that don't jive with me, if I'm stressed to the max, dealing with an emotional tsunami, etc. I'm lucky if I can get out of bed. On less painful days I tend to forget my limits and often overdo it trying to play catch-up in doing ALL the things and can require a couple days to recover. It's a vicious damn cycle. My heart often breaks for all the things that we all used to so comfortably, or otherwise, be able to do. Once in a while, I'll still amaze myself, but those times are getting much fewer and further between it seems. Ouch, dammit!

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Thank you @Tornadic Thoughts for some great pointers!

I currently put a 5 hour energy drink each night on my bedside table for drinking when the alarm goes off. On the days it doesn't work, I'm probably calling out sick. I do not recommend this!

There are some links being made between Fibromyalgia and CPTSD. It has recently been suggested to me by yet another new doctor that there is a strong possibility I have Fibromyalgia. I'd decided to go to a doctor near my work rather than take off work to go to the doctor. I started with a gastroenterologist. I work in the World Trade Center area and the doctors are totally different from the New Jersey doctors who only want to give you medication for symptoms and IMHO compound the problem.
My challenge is finding a way to get home before I schedule the first step, getting an endoscopy/colonoscopy. I wonder if they privately shorten it endo-colo, you know like mani-pedi hahaha. I will have to ask them.
They gave me the names of a couple services who could possibly drive me home but didn't tell me where the procedures would take place. Fortunately there is email and I am waiting to hear back so I can move forward.
I also have to make an appointment with a nutritionist and there is a visit to a neurologist and a rheumatologist.
I know I will have to give up my 5 hour energy drinks along with all caffeine. My ADHD medication will also have go since it is a stimulant which aggravates and I want to get off the antidepressant. Of course I have to be able to work so going cold turkey is out of the question.
One might think I would find this overwhelming but I find it an exciting discovery. I didn't intend to address it in this thread but I guess it is all connected.

I loved hula hooping when I was a kid! I didn't know they had them for arms. I would have to do it in my yard which I'm sure would entertain my neighbors but what do I care! My balance goes awry and the mini trampoline scares me a bit. I wonder if there are affordable water aerobics near me?

I really do appreciate your input!!

 

[ladee]

I would love to have a place that I could do water aerobics, or any exercise in the water... think it would take so much stress off of my joints... the only stipulation is, I am going if fully clothed.... not upsetting anyone in the pool and causing bad dreams, or worse, laughter !!!:eek::eek::eek::eek:

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Hahaha, I hear ya' ladee. I tried the therapy pool at the local hospital gym for a while, and loved how easily I could move and how light I felt, but as soon as I'd get out and the gravity kicked back in, it sucked. lol I avoided the mirrors at all costs. lol

My skin didn't seem to dig the chlorine action much, either. Not to mention the locker room scene, shared shower scene, and all the synthetic smells that set my head/nose/chest on fire. I had to figure a way to make my movement accessible and fun at home, otherwise, I end up donating to someone else's cause more than my own.

 

[desiderata310]

My skin didn't seem to dig the chlorine action

They are hard to find but there are pools that use sand to filter. The water tastes a little salty but it's much easier on the skin and hair.
They also make products to help remove the smell, etc from your skin and hair:
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That doesn't get rid of all the problems but it helps two of them

As far as wanting to get in 'fully clothed' there are plenty of water aerobics groups that never even blink if that's what you prefer to do- usually through the local Y and not attended by... ahem, those with perfect bods. The rest of the folks, yeah they get it and don't care. They're just happy you're moving- that's what they are there to do as well.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@ladee you know they have some skirty bathing suits for the bountiful beauty these days. They don't completely cover the dimpled thighs that fully bloom at the top of the knees and the hanging drapes attached to the upper arms are there for all to see but there is enough illusion to encourage the ego to take a chance. Besides those with buff bodies aren't doing water aerobics. They're running and lifting weights. Standing up is all the weight lifting I'm capable of and the only running I do is when my innards warn me leakage is a strong possibility.
Laughter is the best medicine!