Talking With My Husband About Why He Would Leave Me To Go To His Adult Daughter’s & Grandchildren

[Flying Dove]

No. I am the one with the income monthly. He is retired. His 401 k got us our rv. We are both on the title. There is no one. Not sure if he would stay with his daughter. She is in MD. We are in NM. I see now that when our relationship began he had the expectation for me( and everyone else) to be informed. And to discuss with him. He talked almost continuly about politics all the bad things happening. We do not have the money to fly him there. He asked me this am when it seemed to finally impact him for me to say a few words. All I said was I love you but I am worn out. The last 2 days I have slept in the late morning after getting up. I was tired. He said repeatedly I will not change. He did say this am he was sorry and I deserved better.

 

[OceanSpray]

Would it be possible to sell the RV, split the resulting money between the two of you, and start lives separate from each other that way?

I’m only pushing because I don’t see how any of your stress will be reduced if you are both still in a very small living space together.

 

[Flying Dove]

No. He is retired no income. I am retired nurse with income. His 401k bought our rv. We are both on the title. Our dogs-2- are loving pitbulls and my documented ESAs. His daughter is in MD. We are in NM. We cannot afford flight for him there. I see my biggest error was when we met and him thinking everyone should be informed about current events. This was his expectation with me. Completely unrealistic but I failed to see the complete effects until now.

 

[OceanSpray]

If you’re genuinely separating, his finances or lack of are not your problem. They are his to solve. I don’t know what your plan here is, or if you even have one. But I’m afraid just taking your rings off but not following up with any other action won’t get you the results you’re looking for. He’s not going to change, especially if he doesn’t have any incentive to.

 

[Flying Dove]

My therapist told me the same about his finances. No. He is not going to change. I am the one doing this. I have looked for housing before. My own. With the dogs. I need to resume. He has issues over this political situation Thank you.

Would it be possible to sell the RV, split the resulting money between the two of you, and start lives separate from each other that way?

I’m only pushing because I don’t see how any of your stress will be reduced if you are both still in a very small living space together.

Yes he has brought it up in the past when the anger has been bad. The issue is he gets Impulsive way over reacts expects it done NOW. Reality is different

Thank you oceanspray. I need some motivation.