- Post starter
- #13
BlackbirdSinging
Diamond Member
I get therapy twice this week. I went Tuesday and I'm going back again tomorrow. And on Tuesday I let my therapist do tapping for the first time. For me it was.. interesting and a little awkward. I think she was expecting me to have a huge moment where I went "AHHH" and I felt at least 50% better. I'll just describe what happened.
It started off with two minutes of deep breathing. And I need to say that whenever I do deep breathing I feel physically more calm and relaxed. Then she gave me a list of affirmation like statements to read out loud as she tapped me in various places always telling me where before she did it.
When I started to read the first affirmation I started to weep a little but, just for a minute. She did three segments of tapping on me. The first two were in regards to anxiety. She told me to allow myself to feel anxious as she did the tapping. After she finished the first two she asked me how I felt. And I felt.. numb, sad and almost a bit dazed. She said I didn't look anxious anymore but, that I looked depressed.
She decided to do another round of tapping. This time in regards to sadness. So, we did the whole thing again. This time I was supposed to allow myself to feel sadness. So.. I did. And I wept through the whole process. When she finished she said I might feel sad a bit more for now. She encouraged me to rest and do a lot of self care that day.
I didn't have a moment where I felt like my PTSD symptoms started to just disappear. I didn't leave feeling refreshed. I didn't suddenly feel volumes better. The only thing I really did feel was kinda tired from crying and like I could rest for awhile because, the deep breathing had calmed my nerves and physically I was relaxed.
On the way home I kept checking myself for any anxiety or sadness. And I still had waves of anxiety. And that continued through the evening off and on as always. The only thing different was that it didn't feel as urgent. However, every time I leave therapy I feel grounded and balanced for awhile.
I realize this could mean I need more sessions of tapping. I'm not sure how willing I am to do this too often though. For the awkwardness of it.. the fact that I wasn't seeing this big reduction in symptoms the way she talked about.. and the fact that I like to talk out and process things.. I'm not sure how often I'm going to want to do it.
It didn't hurt. It didn't make me feel worse. It didn't make me feel markedly better. It just.. was. I'm still open to the occasional tap in case it one day suddenly gives me a big relief in my symptoms. But, I far prefer talking and processing and learning new ways to cope.
It started off with two minutes of deep breathing. And I need to say that whenever I do deep breathing I feel physically more calm and relaxed. Then she gave me a list of affirmation like statements to read out loud as she tapped me in various places always telling me where before she did it.
When I started to read the first affirmation I started to weep a little but, just for a minute. She did three segments of tapping on me. The first two were in regards to anxiety. She told me to allow myself to feel anxious as she did the tapping. After she finished the first two she asked me how I felt. And I felt.. numb, sad and almost a bit dazed. She said I didn't look anxious anymore but, that I looked depressed.
She decided to do another round of tapping. This time in regards to sadness. So, we did the whole thing again. This time I was supposed to allow myself to feel sadness. So.. I did. And I wept through the whole process. When she finished she said I might feel sad a bit more for now. She encouraged me to rest and do a lot of self care that day.
I didn't have a moment where I felt like my PTSD symptoms started to just disappear. I didn't leave feeling refreshed. I didn't suddenly feel volumes better. The only thing I really did feel was kinda tired from crying and like I could rest for awhile because, the deep breathing had calmed my nerves and physically I was relaxed.
On the way home I kept checking myself for any anxiety or sadness. And I still had waves of anxiety. And that continued through the evening off and on as always. The only thing different was that it didn't feel as urgent. However, every time I leave therapy I feel grounded and balanced for awhile.
I realize this could mean I need more sessions of tapping. I'm not sure how willing I am to do this too often though. For the awkwardness of it.. the fact that I wasn't seeing this big reduction in symptoms the way she talked about.. and the fact that I like to talk out and process things.. I'm not sure how often I'm going to want to do it.
It didn't hurt. It didn't make me feel worse. It didn't make me feel markedly better. It just.. was. I'm still open to the occasional tap in case it one day suddenly gives me a big relief in my symptoms. But, I far prefer talking and processing and learning new ways to cope.
