Tentatively Popping My Head Back On The Site After A Long Absence.

[Eleanor]

Hi @Abstract , doesn't look like you've popped in much since this... but let me add my voice to the chorus... you belong. And I ALWAYS appreciated your presence and thoughts. Communities need lots of different people and perspectives to work well. I'm not sure what your criteria for "belonging" are... but my big one would be "can you benefit?" and then "are you willing to try to help others." Just because you are further down the road than some, doesn't mean you don't belong.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi @Abstract. I remember you. Sorry you needed to come but you are welcomed with open arms.

I'm not here a lot. I'm well and truly managing and have a life back.

Gentle hugs x

 

[StarChild]

Hi @Abstract, TreeHugger waves at you and smiles...:):singing:

 

[Abstract]

Apologies people. I had to take a break as it was all a little overwhelming. And then I got a little paranoid. Saw answers and was unable to read them. It's funny how its still a surprise to have all the positive responses. I obviously still have a lot of work to do on myself. Closeness and distance is still painful too and anything dealing with these stir things up. Very touched by your kindness.

@anthony I can understand that. Its true for me to an extent and I imagine much more so for you as the creator of the site. Especially all you would have been involved in when you were actively counselling people in the beginning.

@Mr Laurie thank you for the kind welcome.

@ghotiff thank you for saying that and the reassurance. :) I did miss being here and all of you. I hope things are improving for you.

Thank you for the welcome @Julinha. I hope you manage to settle in.

Hi @Candleflames ::) Thank you much for your kind words! And thank you for the warm welcome Still phobic of chat but I'll see you around here and look forward to catching up!

*waves back to @rainy_daze " :stop: :) You have previously helped me too. I think that doubt seems to come from a deep internal place - the place where internal conflict lives too. Thank you!

Thank you @Suzetig ! I'm glad you have found this place helpful. And I agree with you that generally when I feel the most that I don't belong here is when I need to be here the most. In fact I can sometimes see that doubt as a sign that I do belong when I see others here dealing with the same thing. Sometimes.

Hi @Eleanor , its great seeing you again. I hope you are doing well. You always have wise words. I think the belonging issue is about all sorts but what it doesn't come from is a rational grounded space. The less grounded and rational I am the worse it tends to be. :-/

@KP the nut hello! Thank you for the welcome. And thank you very much for sharing you are doing so much better. I am so very glad for you that you have managed to get your life back. Well done. It helps me in multiple ways too.

Thank you @TreeHugger! *waves back :):stop:

 

[Abstract]

Just wanted to apologise again to everyone I know here for doing another disappearing act. This place is very important to me. I hate myself for being like that. Did check in a bit to see how everyone was doing but was in survival mode of a certain type. Something in real life became a crisis of the practical (but pretty serious) rather than the traumatic sort and I had to frantically attempt to look and act functional or end up in all sorts of trouble. Then one experience led to another - resulting in over a year of activity that I thought I would never again be able to manage. I would say its extraordinary what we can do when we have no choice but in truth know that I couldn't have pulled it off if it had occurred even 3 months earlier.

I find myself astonished at what I have done in this time and am lifted by it (I have managed to clear quite a lot of the bottomless horrendous mess I had sunk into over these 12 terrible years of flailing and sinking dysfunction) whilst simultaneously wondering at the cost of having pushed myself way beyond all levels of tolerance when I had been trying to learn self limits and self care. I really need to check in and get my me on track.

As usual life isn't straight forward and tends to dish out a whole variety of contradictory emotions and consequences for single experiences.

Sending all of you loads of support though and hope that the next year will bring with it progress, strength and the right type of support/care.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don’t think you ever need to apologize for disappearing from the forum. (So says the person who recently disappeared and apologized.....then again I disappeared from PMs, so that kind of did warrant an explanation.)

It’s kind of in our “job” description lol.

I don’t say I’m leaving when I disappear cuz it feels dramatic to me.

I just go and then come back later when I’m ok.

Hugs.

 

[Abstract]

Thank you Eve and hugs back.

I know I am not that important in a sense :D (said practically not loadedly!) and that people come and go all the time on here but still don't like doing it. It is a bit on the job description side of things isn't it? :D:bag:

 

[EveHarrington]

Thank you Eve and hugs back.

I know I am not that important in a sense :D (said practically not loade...

Ohhhh I didn’t mean you weren’t important!

 

[Abstract]

Oh no! Sorry @EveHarrington . I know you didn't. Was me saying it and not in a down on myself way. Just meaning it isn't that unusual. Nothing you said.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi @Abstract welcome back you sound really good. I used to go as gizmo. I hope you remember me. I send you happy hugs of you being back. I look forward to reading you again like I used to and talking to you.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Abstract]

Thank you so much for the welcome @Rain and I of course remember you! I actually realised who you were when reading a thread yesterday. Often quite good at figuring out peoples previous identities. ;) Hugs back to you.

All in all I actually am pretty good. I can at last say that PTSD and trauma is a reality for me and that is not small thing.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I actually realised who you were when reading a thread yesterday. Often quite good at figuring out peoples previous identities. ;) Hugs back to you.

This made me so happy to know. I have so missed talking with you. You are very interesting to talk with and especially to listen to.:hug: