Whisperer Wind
New Here
My name is Rich Salter. I've been diagnosed severe PTSD (probably complex) with depression and mTBI. But that is not who I am. I spent 21 years active duty US Army and then almost five years as a South Carolina State Trooper. It was not until I had to give up my job as a cop due to physical issues (mainly damaged back from Army parachute operations) that I finally went from 100 mph to 0 and the world I was running from caught up. Smacked me right in the face, full blast.
I spent two years in one-on-one counseling with a very good therapist. I worked very hard to beat/manage this disease. I learned tools, and use CBT, meditation, Audio Visual Entrainment (AVE), breathing exercises, and a low dose anti-depressant.
My issues began in a physically and emotional abusive childhood from about four until 13. That was followed by another divorce then the untimely death of my mother when she was only 37 from breast cancer. I was bounced around family members throughout the country until I moved out on my own at 17.
I married at 19 and had two children right away. That first marriage failed mainly because my head was so far up my butt, I didn't have a clue if it was day or night. My ex got the kids, and I suffered a huge loss again.
I continued to spin, self-destruct, and just be a real jerk. I joined the Army in 1985 when I was 24 years old. I should have been imprisoned for half the crap I did.
Then I met my angel. It was as if God were saying, "Here is the one person for you who will love you regardless and always be there for you." She was what I was looking for. I successfully completed a military career which included four combat tours. My son, James, was murdered here in 2007. That one, of all my life experiences, has been the toughest to deal with.
Susan and I are still married. At least today. I may have ruined that last night. I exploded over a non-issue, and that was just the culmination of a few months of things building up. The only reason I made it through the last living hell was because my wife stood by me despite the extreme emotional stress my disease caused her. I'm afraid she has reached her limit, and I do not blame her one bit.
My main function/goal/desire/want/wish is to not hurt my loved ones anymore. That's all I want to do, is not cause others pain. The last time, it got to the point I felt I only had one solution, and that was to eliminate the source of pain, myself. Last night, those thoughts crept back. I push them away, but they linger in the hallways.
I am here to learn, live, and love. If I say something offensive, please correct me. It is not intentional because I wish no one ill will. Thanks ahead of time, folks. Peace.
I spent two years in one-on-one counseling with a very good therapist. I worked very hard to beat/manage this disease. I learned tools, and use CBT, meditation, Audio Visual Entrainment (AVE), breathing exercises, and a low dose anti-depressant.
My issues began in a physically and emotional abusive childhood from about four until 13. That was followed by another divorce then the untimely death of my mother when she was only 37 from breast cancer. I was bounced around family members throughout the country until I moved out on my own at 17.
I married at 19 and had two children right away. That first marriage failed mainly because my head was so far up my butt, I didn't have a clue if it was day or night. My ex got the kids, and I suffered a huge loss again.
I continued to spin, self-destruct, and just be a real jerk. I joined the Army in 1985 when I was 24 years old. I should have been imprisoned for half the crap I did.
Then I met my angel. It was as if God were saying, "Here is the one person for you who will love you regardless and always be there for you." She was what I was looking for. I successfully completed a military career which included four combat tours. My son, James, was murdered here in 2007. That one, of all my life experiences, has been the toughest to deal with.
Susan and I are still married. At least today. I may have ruined that last night. I exploded over a non-issue, and that was just the culmination of a few months of things building up. The only reason I made it through the last living hell was because my wife stood by me despite the extreme emotional stress my disease caused her. I'm afraid she has reached her limit, and I do not blame her one bit.
My main function/goal/desire/want/wish is to not hurt my loved ones anymore. That's all I want to do, is not cause others pain. The last time, it got to the point I felt I only had one solution, and that was to eliminate the source of pain, myself. Last night, those thoughts crept back. I push them away, but they linger in the hallways.
I am here to learn, live, and love. If I say something offensive, please correct me. It is not intentional because I wish no one ill will. Thanks ahead of time, folks. Peace.
