Just recently, for about two years of time I had a nightmare row of weird symptoms coming out of the blue like - heart attacks, asthmatic crises, kidney crises, bladder crises, massive hemorrhages from my nose (with no obvious reason). Huge loss of hair, faints, epileptic convulsions and muscle cramps, feeling half of myself floating a meter above my body, while my body was shaking (as if something was trying to pull my soul out of it). Distortion of my vision - like everything was tilted to the left as I walk, and a weird blindness - a flickering, bright spot of light (like a 100 watt bulb) in front of my both eyes - no matter open or closed. Even in a dark room I'd still see it (for about 30-40 minutes). All this together with a very frequent panic attacks (at least twice a day for no obvious reason) and a terrifying feeling of "dying", that was so overwhelming that I was intuitively driven to lie down on the floor (like the animals do before a nature cataclysm).
After every panic attack I had this left over fear from "the fear" as if it was something coming from outside of me - like an injection of poison that gives your body and soul the worst possible torture that have ever existed. And I had no clue how to fight it because it had no obvious reason to relate it to or define it.
Of course I did have hundreds of traumatic experiences in my childhood and teenage years (who didn't) but they were such a long time ago and nothing was wrong with me straight after I had them, besides if my panic attacks were related to some of them - I guess I'd have recognized the feeling and remember where it comes from. But the panic attacks I had, weren't related to any of my traumatic memories.
I went to all kinds of doctors, had all tests and examinations but they didn't show anything abnormal. The symptoms were related to actual diseases but the tests denied them all. The weird symptoms however slowly went away as I started this self treatment - repeating positive thoughts 100 times every day like "the world is safe, life is nice, I am safe, I am relaxed and positive". I know it sounds silly but I didn't know what else to do cos no doctors could say what's wrong with me.
But surprisingly this simple despaired attempt to fight the "invisible tormentor with no name" magically worked and the sun rose up for me again. :)
