That Was Weird - Very Emotional

[hollyberry]

well, todays my first day of medical leave. I no longer have the stress of being a store manager. Don't have a store to run anymore. I think they put the person thats probably the person I dislike the most in my store. Thinks hes hot shit but he's not. Most of the other managers feel the same way so its not just me. Been told before that "you don't want him in your store when your not there".

Before I got sick I was the district trainer, and when I was in the hospital in Oct. they had 2 new managers come on board and they have had him training them. Couple weeks ago hes talking to me about his trainees. I wanted to say to him the only reason your training them is cause I was out sick.

I'm really worried about my managers or at least 3 of them and everybody else too. I really care about my people and they all need their jobs but hes such as asshole. A few of them have really short tempers. The one that I care about the most has the shortest temper and needs her job the most, she has probably walked out by now.

ok I just hypovented( sorry can't spell) need to rest a few minututes.

 

[hollyberry]

The weird part was when I rested. (I'm always typing stuff and lossing it because I'm no longer signed on and didn't want to type any more and loss it so summit it)

Now for the wierd stuff. I had alot of emotion coming up and didn't want it to, so took a bunch of deep breathes. Thats when I hypovented (cant spell that one) After that I got really dizzy and had to lie down for awhile.. God, I think Ive had a least 3 different personalities today. I really don't get this stuff. Is this how this thing happens when you quit stuffing.

I know one of them is a big cry baby. thats the one thats been out most of this weekend. I know I shouldn't call her that but wish she could get a grip on it. Then theres one that really is angry. God I hope I don't talk to my mom when shes around. Don't want to hurt mommy. God forbid I hurt her. Then I quess theres the one that worries about everybody else and could care less about that little girl inside of me. I think thats the one thats here most of the time


Ive I totally lost it or is this for real....On t.v. when someone has multiplies they don't know about each other. God am I lossing my mind shit here comes another dizzy spell need to stop.

 

[hollyberry]

cry babies here now........please someone explain whats happening to me please

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Holly, I can't remember everything that you have wrote but if you don't have a therapist I would suggest getting one. It seems that you had an overload and your emotions busted open. When a person has a break down it takes awhile to get back to feeling somewhat normal.

This happened to me recently and the best advice I can give is don't think about work because it will make you worse. Take care of yourself and get to reading about your illness so your educated and won't freak out every time an emotion surfaces.

If you continue to worry about everyone else your healing time will take longer. Seriously, let it all go until your well enough to think about it.

Peace
Tammy

 

[hollyberry]

yes I have a theripist, been working with her since june. Been getting meds from family doctor. Don't have an appointment till thurs. with t inless she gets cancallation. I have an appointment with shrink next tueday...hopefully theres some different meds I could be on. This is all so new for me. Today really scared me, still don't understand what happened. got through it :)