The apparently normal functional part of me and the part carrying all the trauma

[Ellciott]

So, during childhood trauma, I learned how to perfect those two roles ^^

Always appear normal, functioning fine, regardless of how bad the trauma, abuse, neglect was.

I don’t think I’ve ever read something as relatable to this experience, have this exact struggle too and I never thought about how they both exist as such valid yet opposite and aggressively conflicting genuine parts of myself. The amount of over-functioning “impossible” things I’ve done over the years really does add fuel to a shame that exists around the traumatised part being real or …valid? Worthy? for me

 

[Friday]

I've been mulling over a similar metaphor the last few days, actually... The adult trauma I experienced felt like someone had detonated a bomb and the "house of me" came crashing down. I'm trying to differentiate that a bit now... When I've put it in words properly, I'll put it here too.

That’s one of the things about complex trauma, IME. Finding the differences? Gives me AMAZING finger/toe holds.

The similarities amongst trauma are flat out useful, but the differences are where I find real traction.