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The Beast Returns

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trying2movefwd

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Soooo my thoughts sitting here waiting at a government agency for assistance have taken me to "the end of the world" or WW lll. My thoughts then went to I can't let either of those experiences win so I should do something to prevent myself from experiencing them....really. i am just down right sad, angry and upsset. This wasn't supposed to be my life. I was supposed to be a married Mother and career woman and now I am getting divorced and my PTSD and Major Depression affects My ability to work the way I used to...okay I had symptoms before flashbacks were prevalent and had hard times keeping jobs then, but still I don't want to be a leech! I fear i may break down crying whilst in my appointment.
 
Maybe the best thing to do is let go of the shoulda-woulda-coulda's and focus on what CAN be. It's very hard to do but imagine being in the same sad place you're in right now in 5 or 10 years' time because you held on to the shoulda-woulda-coulda's? Maybe think of your situation as starting over: imagine you made a movie that you didn't like and now you have the chance to do a sequel, and in this sequel you can give your protagonist a second chance.
 
Flashback in the middle of an interview for assistance. .. simply asked "what surgeries have you had in past two years." I answered "gaul bladder ", then there it went, i got so angry and sad I threw the pen across the room and pounded my fists on the desk, I was raped by my X while recovering from surgery. That night was the night the bomb shell went off and my repressed childhood came to start haunting me!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :angry: :disgust:
 
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