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The Day I've Dreaded-seeing Evil

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Punky143

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In less than a month, court is scheduled and I have 0 faith that it will go well. The mere thought of having to see the evil being who sexually assaulted 8 children and a handicap adult and I can't fathom being in the same room. I, like many, dropped their children off at the local community center never giving thought what was happening. When speaking with my T about this recently, I dissociated so bad I have no recall. This has brought my past trauma of which I'm unable to recall some of it. I can't fathom working full time and dealing with court at the same time. I see this destroying everything. All because of "him." There is hate in this world and anyone who deliberately hurts a child is a waste of being....
 
I'm sorry you've been put in the position of having to face all of this. I never made it to that point, so I'm unable to speak from direct experience in knowing what it will feel like, but I know my skin crawls at the thought. Please don't forget to nurture yourself every chance you get through purposeful self-care as best you can each and every day. That's the only thing I've found lasting relief in, no matter the circumstance. Wishing you the best.
 
I don't know if this will help, but it has helped me in dealing with horrendous people. Try to think of him as contagious -- the more energy and anger you give him, the higher the chance of him infecting you with his evil.

He's not worth it. He already took enough from you.

I'm not saying anger is wrong -- not at all. I'd be fantasizing about killing him. But I guess what I'm trying to say is ... any time you feel the anger starting to consume you, just think of him as a contagious disease to try to get yourself back to focusing on more constructive things in life. Healing the wounds he caused, for instance.
 
@Punky143 I would try not to focus your hatred on him, as its a waste of your energy, time and you will have more energy and time being strong for yourself and the victims. He is evil, no doubt about it, and I'm so sorry that people like him exist on this earth.

Please make sure that you take time for yourself, grounding yourself, and doing a lot of self care.
 
In less than a month, court is scheduled and I have 0 faith that it will go well. The mere thought of...
Holy cow, assaulted 8 kids and a handicapped person? No wonder that makes you ill having to face that monster. I was thrown into a situation like that and as soon as I made out the monster the monster tucked his tail and ran, not without sending some very nasty people after me, mad at me because I figured out what he was doing.....

This world can be a very ugly place.
 
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