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The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life

Meanwhile I'm wondering how much life I have left and if I can spend some of it truly at peace, not frightened or shamed or tortured inside or putting on a brave, brave face that covers so much hurt and pain.
I'm only 44 and my youngest son and numerous other's comment on how young I look.My boy says I look like I'm about 30.
I feel and look younger than folks my age (mid 60s).......and I see them as behaving "older" which I don't admire. I'm okay with feeling younger.....but the frozen in time thing....yeah, I get that.



I'm coming! Don't despair! I'm coming to retrieve you soul fragments and self-slithers! A slither is a tiny piece and mine got locked in ice. The ice of malevolence and terror and trauma and smashed into pieces. Now I call a desire for wholeness. Let the journey begin, or continue or do whatever it needs to do.
And I do journeying to help find and repair missing parts of my soul....it has helped put so many things into perspective....but I do believe fragments of our soul get lost, misplaced, or hide in safety ......and if and when we are ready, they can be sought after, found and reunited with the others to make us whole again.
 
Thread starter #2,356
Hey Admin and @anthony? Can I get time to get my guy to help me access my relevant data, poems and such from this thread, if you are planning on deleting it?

I have precious stuff in this diary and would rather it not be deleted at all. But if you have to, I want to save it first. Thanks.
 
@mumstheword hey. I've been thinking about you and the crew a lot. You are in heart-mind often. Sorry I've not been around. Been in the dumps and lost the motivation to even write about it. You know sometimes it just takes you. I'm wondering how things have been for you, which part of the wave you are on these days. I hope you're good in yourself and supported (seen and unseen) much respect mums:)
 
Thread starter #2,359
@mumstheword hey. I've been thinking about you and the crew a lot. You are in heart-mind often. Sorry I've not been around. Been in the dumps and lost the motivation to even write about it. You know sometimes it just takes you. I'm wondering how things have been for you, which part of the wave you are on these days. I hope you're good in yourself and supported (seen and unseen) much respect mums:)
Lovely to "hear" from you @NatBird! 🧡
Bummer you've been struggling. I hope you've come to find some essence and beautiful "youness" through all of your pain and struggles.
I've made leaps and bounds in my yoga practise and it's working it's magic. I find myself trying to negate the results of my practise but I know this is a voice that lies to me and minimises all my accomplishments and value.
So I'm learning to ignore that voice that says "nothing I ever do is good enough" and allow myself to bask in a little warm glow of accomplishment, especially when I've had a good, strong, intense session that leaves me buzzing and alive-feeling.
 
Lovely to "hear" from you @NatBird! 🧡
Bummer you've been struggling. I hope you've come to find some essence and beautiful "youness" through all of your pain and struggles.
I've made leaps and bounds in my yoga practise and it's working it's magic. I find myself trying to negate the results of my practise but I know this is a voice that lies to me and minimises all my accomplishments and value.
So I'm learning to ignore that voice that says "nothing I ever do is good enough" and allow myself to bask in a little warm glow of accomplishment, especially when I've had a good, strong, intense session that leaves me buzzing and alive-feeling.
:)) *big hugs* that's, great to read mums, about the Yoga practice. Good for you:)
to be honest I feel there is no hope for me but there you go!
glad you aren't listening to that voice and letting yourself shine, I could sense that in your words:)
much love
 
Thread starter #2,361
:)) *big hugs* that's, great to read mums, about the Yoga practice. Good for you:)
to be honest I feel there is no hope for me but there you go!
glad you aren't listening to that voice and letting yourself shine, I could sense that in your words:)
much love
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so hopeless @NatBird.

Underneath all the grief and thoughts that bare down on you, can you breath into your heart and give yourself a tiny break, a tiny window, to feel quiet, spacious, a small piece of peace?

Thoughts can bind us and bare down on us, breath can free us and bring peace and energy.

And inside the breath of heart-space, a tiny flame, a spark, a hope-spark can be breathed into a flickering candle-fire.

I hope and want that for you @NatBird.❤🙏🧡
 
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