Hi everyone, I’m Miffy. I chose the name Miffy because I got a top recently as a gift with Miffy on the front and I really like it.
I’m a young woman who has recently been diagnosed with trauma. My therapist and I haven’t specifically talked about PTSD, but from my readings and research it seems to be appropriate. That being said I’m not too concerned with labels, and more focussed on understanding my emotions.
Nothing in particular happened to me, as such. I don’t entirely have a “story”. I just grew up with a mis-diagnosed, severely traumatised mother and a narcissistic father in a semi-chaotic house-hold. I don't think it was that chaotic, but I've been told it was by people I have spoken to. Everything seemed so normal. I thought that I was so normal.
That is until I experienced a severe depressive episode, screamed at my boss, and broke down crying on the street without out the faintest idea why. After finding and talking to a therapist, I discovered that I’m not okay, I was never okay and that my semi-chaotic up-bringing has left me scarred and vulnerable to stress and anxiety. With time I have discovered intense shame and guilt about every aspect of my life.
I regularly have to remind myself of what my symptoms are, that I am not okay, that not even my conscious knows that I’m feeling overwhelmed or numb and detached. Sometimes I feel like an imposter, like I’m putting all this on for attention.
Day to day, I feel pretty-good, except for the jumpiness. I don’t think I have any triggers and I don’t experience nightmares or flashbacks. It’s when I think back to the past, whether it be the last year, month or week, that I realise how terribly depressed I was, how much I just wanted to fade away, how much emotional turmoil I really have been feeling. Dredging all of this up through therapy has been interesting, because I’m learning a lot about myself and the nature of my problems. It has also resulted in some shocking moments of memory loss, uncontrollable crying or plain old misery.
My journey of self-discovery is just beginning. Hopefully we can learn a lot from each other. Thanks for reading.
- Miffy
I’m a young woman who has recently been diagnosed with trauma. My therapist and I haven’t specifically talked about PTSD, but from my readings and research it seems to be appropriate. That being said I’m not too concerned with labels, and more focussed on understanding my emotions.
Nothing in particular happened to me, as such. I don’t entirely have a “story”. I just grew up with a mis-diagnosed, severely traumatised mother and a narcissistic father in a semi-chaotic house-hold. I don't think it was that chaotic, but I've been told it was by people I have spoken to. Everything seemed so normal. I thought that I was so normal.
That is until I experienced a severe depressive episode, screamed at my boss, and broke down crying on the street without out the faintest idea why. After finding and talking to a therapist, I discovered that I’m not okay, I was never okay and that my semi-chaotic up-bringing has left me scarred and vulnerable to stress and anxiety. With time I have discovered intense shame and guilt about every aspect of my life.
I regularly have to remind myself of what my symptoms are, that I am not okay, that not even my conscious knows that I’m feeling overwhelmed or numb and detached. Sometimes I feel like an imposter, like I’m putting all this on for attention.
Day to day, I feel pretty-good, except for the jumpiness. I don’t think I have any triggers and I don’t experience nightmares or flashbacks. It’s when I think back to the past, whether it be the last year, month or week, that I realise how terribly depressed I was, how much I just wanted to fade away, how much emotional turmoil I really have been feeling. Dredging all of this up through therapy has been interesting, because I’m learning a lot about myself and the nature of my problems. It has also resulted in some shocking moments of memory loss, uncontrollable crying or plain old misery.
My journey of self-discovery is just beginning. Hopefully we can learn a lot from each other. Thanks for reading.
- Miffy
