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mumstheword
MyPTSD Pro
Thanks @ninja :-) bakatcha on that stuff too.:-) :hug;:hug: sending love and support your way.
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Thanks @ninja :-) bakatcha on that stuff too.:-) :hug;:hug: sending love and support your way.
Going back over your posts, there seems to be a rhythm playing out here, with positive energy bursts followed by really down-on-yourself dives into darkness. They seem to be happening quite rapidly...
Is it a daily thing for you (like, up in the morning, down in the afternoon, or vice versa), or is it several hours/half day post dealing with oldest kiddo doing it tough with recovery, or is it post ex-confrontations? Is there something that pushes you up, or something that pushes you down, or is there any kind of other pattern you can recognise?
Concerned about you Mums. Feel like you're trying so hard to keep all these others safe, and watching it take a terrible toll on you:(
You're not, in any way at all. This is your trauma diary, it's a space for you to do healing work for yourself, with the benefit that sometimes others who relate a bit (like me) might jump in to offer support. Just because.I don't want to dump this on you
There's a lot of healing in process still. Which makes sense, given how many years of trauma you've survived. And there's no doubt you've come out of that as a beautiful warrior, but that doesn't mean all the healing is done, or that every minute of every day is free of pain from past stuff that hasn't been processed yet. Don't give up, k?Being by myself feel safer, but it triggers my emotional flashbacks of shame, self loathing and my prior lifetime of deep loneliness,
Supporting someone through drug addiction recovery, supporting someone recovering from psychosis - they're big big tasks, with huge emotional tolls. Even the best of supporters get compassion fatigue, and need support themselves.It feels good, being there for my son, but, I, realize, that I, habitually, dive into.a long standing habit of self loathing and body shame,-food-eating shame, and existential shame
I really, really appreciate your kindness, patience and consideration @Sideways. It goes a long way. Thank you for helping me chip away at my sense of not being worth anyone's time and/or that no one can handle it, or will be kind to me, if I show I'm hurting and feeling a bit dark.You're not, in any way at all. This is your trauma diary, it's a space for you to do healing work for yourself, with the benefit that sometimes others who relate a bit (like me) might jump in to offer support. Just because.
There's a lot of healing in process still. Which makes sense, given how many years of trauma you've survived. And there's no doubt you've come out of that as a beautiful warrior, but that doesn't mean all the healing is done, or that every minute of every day is free of pain from past stuff that hasn't been processed yet. Don't give up, k?
Supporting someone through drug addiction recovery, supporting someone recovering from psychosis - they're big big tasks, with huge emotional tolls. Even the best of supporters get compassion fatigue, and need support themselves.
Have you got support like that in place? Something like an ARAFMI group that you can link up with?
Also was thinking that maybe investing some more time in your own healing journey. It isn't being selfish to do that. If not with TDU, knowing you there's probably some really quality alternative health and yoga retreats in your region that you could plan ahead for yourself. Some recovery time, so that you can keep being there not just for the family, but also for yourself.
Just tossing around ideas. If nothing else, just know that you're being heard when you write here:hug:
Sorry, I'm not gonna make a big thing about this, I just need to ask: this seems to mean that I qualify as a 'narcy gaslighter' simply because I happen to disagree with your position on the cause of climate change. Is that what you mean? Because I don't want to be somewhere where I'm not wanted, and certainly I won't persist here if I'm considered a narcy gaslighter...:(There are narcy gaslighters and there are truth tellers.
Of course you're not a narcy gaslighter!!!!Sorry, I'm not gonna make a big thing about this, I just need to ask: this seems to mean that I qualify as a 'narcy gaslighter' simply because I happen to disagree with your position on the cause of climate change. Is that what you mean? Because I don't want to be somewhere where I'm not wanted, and certainly I won't persist here if I'm considered a narcy gaslighter...:(