Always have Hope!
New Here
Where does one start out, I assume a warm hello to all, that by joining, I too can feel the warmth from other members to help not only myself, but maybe a flicker of light to whomever shivers in the shadows of PTSD.
I am really in a lost of words and ashamed that I also must come out of hiding. For over twenty years I have fought and struggled with it. On the outside, one views the fight, the cold sweats, the paleness, the rapid beating of your chest, and the curious ears hear the cries of fear, doom and hopelessness. It is easy for me to say I have panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia, and let that settle their puzzlement. Yes I learn over those years how to withstand those storms, but for some, not all , has a darker storm that weather's in our mind.
PTSD is a savage twister at times, like all hurricanes, the eye is calm and peaceful. A breath of fresh air, warm vibrant light,... but only if you can stay its center. . .yes I at times drifted in the storms path, and yes I hide in its fury. Over the years I learned only how to sail its currents. I was awaken a few days ago in the matter of the heart. In a years time, I fell in love with the most amazing, heartwarming, woman. I know within my soul she is my true love. But you see, she too is in her own storm, she has PTSD as well. It is up to her if she so wish to discuss hers. I know I must open my heart and mind, no matter how hard its swells and its turbenuss.
I must grow and learn everyday. I've read many posts that specks of lost love, to give up, to let them go. There are always a poster that ask what love is...I only know what true love is to me... to always move toward the light, to feel its vibration, to take in its healing rays and to give upon others its warmth and its many facets. No, I might be within a storm, but I'll find my way to the center, I will never leave someone who fell overboard ,... friend, girlfriend, or wife, throw out the lifeline, that is true love., I can only maintain my course and to be that faithful friend, to care and be loving, and have a open heart. I know there's always a storm, you just have to learn how to look up to the stars and become a master navigater.
I am really in a lost of words and ashamed that I also must come out of hiding. For over twenty years I have fought and struggled with it. On the outside, one views the fight, the cold sweats, the paleness, the rapid beating of your chest, and the curious ears hear the cries of fear, doom and hopelessness. It is easy for me to say I have panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia, and let that settle their puzzlement. Yes I learn over those years how to withstand those storms, but for some, not all , has a darker storm that weather's in our mind.
PTSD is a savage twister at times, like all hurricanes, the eye is calm and peaceful. A breath of fresh air, warm vibrant light,... but only if you can stay its center. . .yes I at times drifted in the storms path, and yes I hide in its fury. Over the years I learned only how to sail its currents. I was awaken a few days ago in the matter of the heart. In a years time, I fell in love with the most amazing, heartwarming, woman. I know within my soul she is my true love. But you see, she too is in her own storm, she has PTSD as well. It is up to her if she so wish to discuss hers. I know I must open my heart and mind, no matter how hard its swells and its turbenuss.
I must grow and learn everyday. I've read many posts that specks of lost love, to give up, to let them go. There are always a poster that ask what love is...I only know what true love is to me... to always move toward the light, to feel its vibration, to take in its healing rays and to give upon others its warmth and its many facets. No, I might be within a storm, but I'll find my way to the center, I will never leave someone who fell overboard ,... friend, girlfriend, or wife, throw out the lifeline, that is true love., I can only maintain my course and to be that faithful friend, to care and be loving, and have a open heart. I know there's always a storm, you just have to learn how to look up to the stars and become a master navigater.
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