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The Never Ending Story

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and to the astonishment of noone Bridey whipped out the other one. Who knew 103 year old boobies could have maintained such perky perfection for all those tawdry decades of overuse in that dank mansion on Old Skank Road?
 
Luckily nobody noticed that she had used skin tone duct tape to hold those boobies in their perky place. That Bridey knew every trick in the book to look good. Fake eyelashes, hair color, tons of make-up and a can of hairspray every day. That old broad looked damn good for her age. But once she took all of that stuff off she looked like.....
 
she could play the lead in any horror movie. Not that Bridey would admit that even to herself and if anyone found out her secret she was quite prepared to silence them.
 
And silence them she would with her banshee's wail.. off into the distance like a thousand Tasmanian devils crying out in heat. From beneath her billowing shirt she pulled out..
 
Her latest purchase, a CD of music - punk/grunge/garage/hiphop party mix. Come on people let's get down with some moves and at 103 she................
 
...could still get down and boogie like someone half her age. All that flexing of her legs down at Uncle Buck's House of Tramps allowed her to still kick her legs like a can-can dancer even after all these years. Just as Bridey was working up to her big finale of high kicks and twirls, she grabbed her chest and screamed.......
 
a fire extinguisher.. and the tampax I'm gonna McGyver this shit bitch! Meet me at the clock tower at 0800 then we can..
 
The spasm passed, and along with it the dissasociation Bridey often experienced when in front of large crowds which brought on these waking dreams of Marty and his shiny car. Listing slightly to the left from the punctured implant, Bridey stood erect on the stage, her remaining bosom heaving, proudly surveying the crowd. It was silent in the theater, the audience shocked to immobility by the grandness of what they'd just witnessed. Then as one they leaped to their feet, screaming, clapping and throwing garlands of wild flowers at the grand dames feet. Bridey picked one up, sightly sticky from from leaking fake boob juice, and held it aloft in triumph as the sounds of adulation broke around her. The Skank of Barkdog County was BACK.
 
From the shadows comes a ghostly voice "You are finally mine Bridey. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. How can my shoe laces be untied? I don't even wear shoes." There is a stainless steel flash of the scythe coming from the shadow towards Bridey. And then....
 
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