The Never Ending Story

[Deleted member 10686]

An inmate that had escaped from the nearby jail only a few nights before. A note had accidently been left behind nearby, and somewhere in the pigs complicated life he had learned how to read english. The note read....

 

[Anna Banana]

"Walk this way..." There was a path that led up into the mountains, so they...

 

[NutritionNerd]

Meanwhile the Major shaking his head sadly continues on his 2000 year journey. Accumulating more memories, still haunted by wars where only the faces change, young men enticed to prove their worthiness, seduced with their love of home, and then turned into old men overnight. Death and War are good friends with Horror. The major knew them all well.

A swig of Sherry was the best hope the Major had for a peaceful night's sleep. He knew Hope once but lost touch with her after the first 100 years passed and nothing changed. No one learned a thing in the 1000 years he'd walked the earth. Mind you cars were a pretty cool replacement for horses, just not as companionable.

 

[amethist]

As the animals followed the path up the mountain, some of them took the note literally and started to walk in the mode of John Clease. Which was an hilarious site for those who saw them, as the chickens fell over backwards, the cows got there legs in a twist, the pig crashed into the goats, causing them all to look like they came from a circus not a farm.

The sheep well they just acted like sheep, wondering around aimlessly. Well that was until digger came racing down the mountain, closely followed by a huge....

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

... mountain lion.

When all of the animals saw the mountain lion heading their way, the sheep ironically took on the lead and heading west in the hope that the mountain lion could not make a fast right hand turn. All of the other animals fell in line, the chickens riding on the larger animals.

Slowly it became obvious that the sheep's adrenaline had run out and...

 

[anni]

The mountain lion, seeing the flagging sheep thought 'Ah, mutton!, well, not my favorite but it'll do!' With his massive jaws inches from a plump rump, the sheep suddenly whirled around and faced her attacker.This would be Rhoda, the herd's acknowledged slacker and all-around bad ass. The astonished mountain lion stared as she eyed him speculatively. "Ok, look Mr. Big Handsome Lion Sir, you could eat ME, sure, I'd be a MEAL, right? But I'm old and greasy, give you gas! If you let me go, I could give you something TASTY, maybe a human? How does that sound? " Mr. Lion Sir licked his chops. "Keep talking" he said.

 

[Anna]

Besides without mint sauce lamb or mutton simply does not taste good. The lion turned his head to the side and let out a loud roar. His stomach was rumbling like crazy. However, he failed to see the the jeep driving towards him at an incredible speed. He turned to face the jeep, he froze in shock and fear then pounced on top of the roof. The driver did not stop seeing that the lion would surely kill him.

The sheep made a quick escape into the wilderness, but failed to see that

 

[amethist]

following behind there was a beat up, battered and almost falling to bits Rolls Royce Convertible, racing down the mountain, seemingly trying to catch the Jeep.

Hanging on for dear life was the biggest brown bear you had ever seen, being smacked round the paws by a man with a stupid grin on his face.

When the bear saw the sheep, it let go of the Roller and legged it into the wilderness, just as the man was taking a swing at it again. The man swung so hard he fell out of the back onto a .....

 

[amethist]

"Bugger it's snowing" said Death, "But they cant hide as easy now", he said as he fell on his butt yet again.

 

[anni]

Death was actually an optimistic kind of fellow, given his chosen vocation. His wife was always giving him hell for it saying no one would take him seriously as DEATH for God's sake but he persisted in his conviction that the bread would fall jelly side up in his particular netherworld. Today had pretty much sucked so far however. Minding his own business, sharpening his sythe a runaway jeep had flattened him, leaving the femure bone where the mandible should have been. No sooner was that damage repaired than some grinning idiot plowed an aging jalopy of a Rolls Royce up his backside and a large bear of all things fell outa the sky onto his new K-Mart sythe. Now dammit things HAD to be looking up at last. He'd show his wife. Runaway vehicles meant bodies somewhere. It really did pay to be a perky kinda ghoul in a snow storm.

 

[amethist]

So to keep his wife happy Death skinned the bear to take home for a new fireside rug, his wife would be pleased with him for this at least.

Meanwhile the runaway jeep had crashed head long into the wall at the bottom of the hill, and was now stuck bellowing out steam.

The Rolls Royce skidded on the ice and crashed into the back of it, this also bellowing out steam.

 

[Barberian]

The wise sheep, watched the escapades of mankind and sighlently giggled to themselves. "When will they learn"?