amethist
VIP Member
Last night as we sat chatting about anything and everything, which we have started to do more of again, my husband asked me if I loved him. This is not uncommon, so I replied with the usual jokey bit added on, "Of course I do, I married you didn't I", but the look in his face told me this time he needed more.
So I went over and sat in front of him, held both of his hands in mine and started talking to him, telling him how I really felt about him. I told him that even though he has been really ill with all this, I could always see that tiny bit of him that he was before PTSD invaded our lives. I told him how I knew that the man he was has gone, but the base of who he is is still there.
The crazy man who changes words to songs, just for the fun of it.
The crazy man who laughs at me when I do something daft, like trying to put the milk back in the shoe cupboard instead of the fridge.
The crazy man who embarrasses me at every opportunity on his good days.
The man who still shows me how much he loves me and appreciates all I have done for him over the last 3 years, without question. I have shouted, yelled and kicked doors down to get him the help when no one would listen to us about how ill he was in the beginning.
There is so much more I told him, but you get the message I was giving him. I would have done this before now, but now was the time to tell him, now was the time the would hear, listen and see I meant every word of it.
Now we can build on what is left of the man he was, along with the man he is now. He is my husband first, PTSD sufferer second. He still is a a pain in the butt, but he is my pain in the butt.
After all this and we had both wiped our eyes, yea we both had sweaty eyes as he calls it.
He then started to tell me how bad he felt about the way I had to suffer along side him, how he felt guilty of me having to miss out on so much because of all this.
I told him to shut up and listen to the positive things I have got out of his illness.
If it were not for his PTSD,
I would not have learnt about Crystal Healing, Aromatherapy. Being able to share some of this with others, to maybe help them as I have helped my husband. Met some wonderful people who own a peaceful and calming Crystal and Gem shop. Who welcome me every time I go there whether to buy something or to just have a boost of my own type of healing.
I would not have made so many wonderful caring friends all over the world and still making them. I would not have had so much fun and laughs with them when times have been tough for a few of us. The flare and life raft are always there when any one of us needs rescuing, before they drown in the emotions that overwhelm us at times.
I would not have found and joined a wonderful uplifting spiritual site, where the people on there have picked me up some nights when I have been so low I have almost cried in full view of them all while chatting to them on web cam.
I would not have learnt to appreciate more of the simple things in life, like listening to the birds singing while sat here typing away.
And I would not be here right now sharing all this, so others can see that sometimes you can get past the rough stuff. Hard and soul destroying as it is, there are also some good things that can come out of it too.
The butterfly is now opening her wings and beginning to fly free again.
Amethist
So I went over and sat in front of him, held both of his hands in mine and started talking to him, telling him how I really felt about him. I told him that even though he has been really ill with all this, I could always see that tiny bit of him that he was before PTSD invaded our lives. I told him how I knew that the man he was has gone, but the base of who he is is still there.
The crazy man who changes words to songs, just for the fun of it.
The crazy man who laughs at me when I do something daft, like trying to put the milk back in the shoe cupboard instead of the fridge.
The crazy man who embarrasses me at every opportunity on his good days.
The man who still shows me how much he loves me and appreciates all I have done for him over the last 3 years, without question. I have shouted, yelled and kicked doors down to get him the help when no one would listen to us about how ill he was in the beginning.
There is so much more I told him, but you get the message I was giving him. I would have done this before now, but now was the time to tell him, now was the time the would hear, listen and see I meant every word of it.
Now we can build on what is left of the man he was, along with the man he is now. He is my husband first, PTSD sufferer second. He still is a a pain in the butt, but he is my pain in the butt.
After all this and we had both wiped our eyes, yea we both had sweaty eyes as he calls it.
He then started to tell me how bad he felt about the way I had to suffer along side him, how he felt guilty of me having to miss out on so much because of all this.
I told him to shut up and listen to the positive things I have got out of his illness.
If it were not for his PTSD,
I would not have learnt about Crystal Healing, Aromatherapy. Being able to share some of this with others, to maybe help them as I have helped my husband. Met some wonderful people who own a peaceful and calming Crystal and Gem shop. Who welcome me every time I go there whether to buy something or to just have a boost of my own type of healing.
I would not have made so many wonderful caring friends all over the world and still making them. I would not have had so much fun and laughs with them when times have been tough for a few of us. The flare and life raft are always there when any one of us needs rescuing, before they drown in the emotions that overwhelm us at times.
I would not have found and joined a wonderful uplifting spiritual site, where the people on there have picked me up some nights when I have been so low I have almost cried in full view of them all while chatting to them on web cam.
I would not have learnt to appreciate more of the simple things in life, like listening to the birds singing while sat here typing away.
And I would not be here right now sharing all this, so others can see that sometimes you can get past the rough stuff. Hard and soul destroying as it is, there are also some good things that can come out of it too.
The butterfly is now opening her wings and beginning to fly free again.
Amethist
