General The "supporting My Supporter Thread":)

[Kramer]

My husband does a really great job, I'm lucky. As, I'm sure, are your loved ones! What can I do to help him? To support him as he supports me? Please, all chime in!

 

[wife of]

First up for me would be to take a couple of seconds on a bad day to just point out that that day is a bad one and you do not plan on communicating much...but that it is not his fault...

 

[Kramer]

Thank you:)

 

[amethist]

Be as honest as you can with him Kramer, don't shrug something off, just so he does not get worried. It wont help in the long run, as he can help you more if he knows, and if he can spot the signs earlier.

It takes time, but so helpful when supporters can see and just keep an eye on how things are progressing. Stepping in when necessary to support, or stepping back when we can see you are managing well on your own.

 

[Toria]

For me, personally, if I could wave a magic wand I would ask that Husband does not take his anger and frustration out on me. You may not do that you your Supporter Kramer, in which case they are lucky. If you do, then perhaps you could say "It's not you, I'm having a bad day" or maybe even apologise. Your Supporter is very lucky that you care enough to ask the question x

 

[wife of]

Yes,honesty is realy the best policy.

Never using the "I'm fine" answer to an inquiry as to how you are doing is another one.It's a rubbish answer even when things are well and too often used when things are far from "fine".

That's one of my biggest bugbears.

Just ignore me if this does not apply.

I'd give anything at the moment for my other half to recognise the support I give him would be made easier if he could start to take a little responsibility for some of his actions and give me a little smoothe to go along with the rough.

Some days all it would take to make an awful day bearable would be for him to just lay his hand on mine for a couple of seconds or make me a cup of tea whilst I'm running around daft doing all the things he cannot physicaly do.

I wish you both well,you are making a brilliant effort in your recovery.

 

[Srain]

One of the most important things I have been learning about my way too quiet Supporter is that he has a voice that needs to be heard. He is so afraid of saying the wrong thing that he is afraid to say anything at times. I have asked him to write out how he feels and have asked him to speak to my tdoc (specifically without me present, so that he may speak freely, I trusted her to do this).

I try to let him know when I have projected onto him, flashbacks, I apologize for this.

I try to let him know that I'm not giving up even if it may look it. I worry he may be concerned about that.

Remember too, it would be good for him to be as well informed about PTSD as possible, information is never a bad thing. Take care of yourself.
Peace,
Rain