The World May Think This Backwards, But...

[Justpassintime]

I was thinking of this topic while I was taking my walk today. I have two things I think are pretty awesome, but a lot of people might think they aren't real accomplishments.

1) I learned how to lie. I am pretty much the worst liar in the whole world. I smile like it's my job and I literally have no control over it at all. During one period of my life I sort of had to lie. It dawned on me one minute, Wow, no one knows what I am thinking which is why I couldn't lie - I thought people had that much control over me. I stopped lying as soon as it was no longer necessary to my well being because I didn't want to get good at it.

2) The next one I really can't tell the "whole" story as it could potentially be detrimental to others to do so, so I will give as much information as possible, without full disclosure. One day I decided to do something that was "bad" for me - not so much for other people. I remember being a nervous wreck about doing this but did it anyway. I don't recall the circumstances around the decision to do so. Anyway, immediately following I was utterly shocked when the world didn't end right there and then. I messed up big time and the world didn't end. It was a huge relief. I later decided to NOT continue the behavior but it was so liberating to find out the earth's gravitational pull had nothing to do with me.

Have you had things like this come up?

 

[scout86]

I hope you'll take this the way I mean it! When I read your first item, I literally laughed out loud.

I heard a program on public radio the other day, about how learning to lie is a developmental stage and most kids, by the time they're 4, are accomplished liars. I heard that and thought "FINE! There's one MORE thing I was supposed to learn how to do years ago and never figured out. What ELSE????"

A few weeks ago, my therapist was talking about "emotional rheostats". How you can turn feelings up and down. Then he told a story about a tribe of Indians who only have 2 words for colors, "Blue" and "not Blue". I listened to all that, thought it was very interesting, had no idea why he was talking about it, and realized about 6 hours later that he was talking about it because my reactions to things tend to be either an over reaction or no reaction at all. I was shocked, surprised, appalled, alarmed, (trying to practice coming up with more than 1 way to express stuff. LOL) So, the whole "You're supposed to know how to lie if you're a normal human being" thing wasn't exactly "good news".

I wonder who actually IS the worst liar in the world?! I'll be there's someone out there who's worse at it than either of us.

 

[Justpassintime]

That was so shocking to me and you will most likely find the same thing if you get decent at it. I just was so used to being the four year old up against adults who didn't read my mind but predicted my behavior. It never occurred to me that I COULD lie, I thought humans where like that and TAH DAH they are not :D which is awesome and right there gives me power over myself.

I would deal with situations where I didn't want to tell the truth by immediately anyone who was questioning me doing the kind of gas lighting where you flip it on them and say things like how dare you question me like that, I can't believe you asked that.

You laughing is awesome and the most awesome thing about this site - I have yet had to re-explain anything so someone else could understand. You can post (or read) something and have that exhilarating moment where there IS someone just like you (which I've never had in real life.)

 

[scout86]

I'm not exactly sure why I'm so bad at lying. When confronted with a situation where lying might be a good option, I tend to kind of freeze, "deer in the headlights" style. I generally can't think of anything to say BUT the truth. If I really don't want to answer the question, I just refuse to answer the question. I totally get what you're talking about with the "world coming to an end" feeling as well as the surprise when that's not what happens.

You're right about it being a great thing to find out there are other people out there who share your experiences. It helps. Laughing helps too. The first person who told me that he thought I had PTSD (a good friend, many years ago) had noticed, among other things, that I have a real well developed startle reflex. He set out on a campaign to "desensitize" me. The whole thing turned in to kind of a running joke. But, it was also the first time in my life that I got the idea that I don't experience some things the way most people do. Humor seemed like a good option for defusing things. It still does. If I can laugh at myself and the situation, it's easier to deal with.

 

[Chincho]

I guess that makes three of us. I am really terrible at lying because I learned that it was an option about a year ago. Whenever I try, I feel myself getting hot and flushed.

My strategies were always changing the subject or saying something to make the other person laugh and forget about it. I'm relly quick at coming back with some funny comment.

I was just talking about this with my therapist last week. I'm really glad I'm not the only person who never learnt how to lie.

 

[Justpassintime]

I know right....

I am not advocating lying, but there are times when it should be possible simply just because. Like the dreaded, "Do you like my new hair cut?" - if I don't like it, I will say something like, well that's cute, but I like your hair better this way.

Having found we share this in common, I have to wonder what else we didn't learn that isn't as obvious as love and trust.