Therapist Doesn't Believe Me

[Friday]

I don't think it's the therapists job necessarily to figure out what's true and what isn't.

It wasn't a question of truth for me, and if I muddled that, my apologies. It was the ethically obligated not to & various versions of "not allowed" & "that's wrong" full stop. Like engaging in a relationship with a client is wrong, full stop.

I think there's a lot of different paths to the same goal, that still fall in the range of ethical behavior. Fact checking & challenging assertions neither seem -to me- to fall outside the bounds of what a therapist is morally obligated to do. I could be wrong. Often am. But I'd be suprized if therapists were forbidden from asking for verification.

 

[Suzetig]

I don't think in terms of forbidden either and different modalities will hold different views on how far the truth is important in the work. It could be argued that the therapist needs to be working with what's real for the work to be effective but there's also evidence to suggest working with what the client brings, from their frame of reference is effective regardless of objective truth.

Like everything, different courses for horses I suppose.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Some more thinking in this: maybe the issue isn't the photo, but the lack of belief. Being told to bring in a photo because you aren't credible feels awful, being asked to bring in a photo because "this boyfriend sounds awesome. Could you bring a photo in so I have a face to connect the name to? I'd like to know more about your relationship" feels kind and caring.

 

[gealach]

Hi, I have CPTSD. My T told me this last Monday that he doesn't believe me about my life and wanted me to...

. I'm sorry you had that experience, and I can definitely relate.

My first T didn't believe me, because I refused to give names, and because she just couldn't fathom professionals in my industry behaving in the ways I reported.

She didn't bother to research when I told her about our bad behavior previously making the news. She couldn't make the connection between what was happening in the rcmp, the military, city police, various fire departments, etc and the possibility that similar things just might be occurring in my industry, so that somehow meant I wasn't telling the truth??????

After I refused to give names for the umpteenth time, she finally said ''I believe that you believe that this happened''. She could not understand that naming names would start an investigation, and that would follow me for the rest of my career. Our industry never forgets, and it never forgives - once you have a reputation, it follows you like s#@t stuck to the bottom of your shoe, you can scrape & wash but the smell is always there.

I was DONE. right. there. I had to keep physically showing up for appointments (wcb), but I think even she could figure out I was just occupying space at that point. Our sessions ended shortly after. Her attitude and final comment is something I likely won't ever forget, and it has made me extremely wary of any other T.

Sorry this was so long, it's still a sore point :meh: :mad: rant over.

My point: drop this T. Unless what you're reporting is clearly unbelievable & psychotic, not just unusual and terrible, there is no reason for your T to not believe you and ask for proof. Your T's job is to provide therapy, period. Their opinion should never enter the equation.

 

[FireSign8]

I once had a person ask me for "proof" of my attack in order for me to get a bed for the night. I told them to go f*ck themselves & I slept in a utility room in the parking lot of the shelter. I was black & blue & my arm was in a cast. People that ask for proof need to be reported to their supervisor ASAP! It is a form of re-victimizing the victim. They need retraining. Still sucks.

 

[FireSign8]

Oh, I would also take a photo of this therapist & tell them it's for your PROOF in case someone asks you for it later on in life. What comes around goes around. Take the shot & find yourself a therapist who isn't so insecure! Then turn the photo into a dart board!

 

[Beaglefan61]

I am really confused as to why your therapist would be inclined to not trust you. Yeah some circumstances are so unbelievable that it makes it a stretch to be believed and i have that for myself. My therapist thinking something important could be an hallucination has hurt my healing. Being believed is crucial for ptsd and being disbelieved does hurt deeply. For us to trust someone, them trusting us certainly does help. It is a two way street. If a therapist isn't trusting us how do we heal? I am sorry you have felt hurt for not being believed about your life. It does hurt very deeply. Some therapists do lack humility and think their one hour in 168 per week is a God send and that is all you need and all their answers are the right ones. This is not to say your therapist is that way. It is me saying maybe some of your answers are the right answers and maybe your truths are truths and not being given the benefit of a doubt says more about your therapist than it does you. The research on disbelief and ptsd or just telling the truth and not being believed is possibly insufficient. Looking online there is an easy conclusion: Being disbelieved does cause damage. It sounds like it has for you. Not sure how you wish to proceed with your therapist (or not) but i hope you will get the belief you need to feel connected in the way you can heal. That connection is crucial! When we are hurting and get disbelieved it is a smack down for having reached out. It teaches too much to not even try to trust. I wish i did not understand how that goes but am experiencing it very much in my life. Best to you in finding the right trusting support where you feel like your word and your feelings are valued. That sure makes healing much easier!

 

[Renee]

Some more thinking in this: maybe the issue isn't the photo, but the lack of belief. Being...

Oh no this was not caring. He said he didn't believe and to show him proof. I showed proof. Yes you are right, it was the lack of belief in me. So sad. Thank you for replying.

 

[Renee]

Oh, I would also take a photo of this therapist & tell them it's for your PROOF in case someone asks...

Oh so funny. Love this. Made me smile, thank you.

 

[Renee]

Up date so far. So I have gone back to see him. My heart is crushed and it just isn't the same anymore. I asked him how can I ever know he believes me? He said, if he doesn't believe me he will tell me and if he doesn't tell me anything then I am to assume he believes me. So, for me it just changed something inside of me. The relationship will never be the same. I did grow some what attached so it is hard for me just to leave, but I just don't see this working out. Being believed is so important. Thank you for all of your reply so. It helps alot.

 

[FireSign8]

Up date so far. So I have gone back to see him. My heart is crushed and it just isn't the same anymore. I...

You also said "Being believed in so important"...We all have the ability to believe in ourselves & no one can ever take that away!

 

[Renee]

You also said "Being believed in so important"...We all have the ability to believe in ourselves & no...

So true thank you.