Well... I've grown up with a very difficult and abusive family life. I am a twin and my brother has always been the Golden Child. My parents are very traditional and conservative and always looked down on me because I was a girl. They never encouraged me to learn or succeed and often called me stupid. My dad always had a short temper and would occasionally hit me - though my mum conveniently never remembers this happening.
I eventually left home and went to university, and my mother always seemed to resent me for going (she married and had us very young). Neither of them were very warm people and my mother would always try to control me and hold me back, telling me how to behave and even to dress. She had no emotional connection to anyone but always doted on my brother. Even if I shared similar traits, they were painted as negative when they related to me.
I'm now grown up, living in the city, with a humble but stable job. I have a boyfriend of 6 years, who admittedly I moved in with very quickly, having had to return post-uni to live with my mum. I've always tried to maintain a distant-but-civil relationship with both parents, even though my dad thought my university work was boring (he's only interested in motor racing) and my mum attempts to control everything I say or do even now.
I hadn't spoken to my dad in a long time as we'd grown apart, and I made the mistake of meeting up with him and his new partner a few years back. I had gone to his new home and spent a whole week with them. During this time, my dad had acted like he'd missed me so much and showered me with gifts and dinners, despite my boyfriend and I insisting that we'd pay. We stayed in a chalet there and, though there wasn't much to do, walked around and tried to catch up on life. I thought everything was fine.
Fast-forward to the following year and my twin brother is getting married overseas! We've always had a strained relationship, too, but my boyfriend encouraged us to go as he thought it'd be the right thing to do. Long story short... my dad had a psychotic breakdown at the wedding after an 'argument' with my brother. I still don't know what about. He shoved my boyfriend and I into a taxi with his partner and told us the 'Dubai Mafia' were after us and were going to kill us. Apparently my brother had set them on to us as we'd insulted him at his wedding.
My boyfriend and I were scared and confused and had no idea what was going on with my father. I tried calling other family members to say he'd had a breakdown (my mum was also there with her new boyfriend) but she insisted that she needed to fly back home as she had a shop to tend to(!). I knew that nobody was after us, but I was in a foreign country with little money, no Internet/signal, and I was terrified of how my father was acting.
He booked us into hotels and made us move between them every other day to 'cover our tracks' until it was finally time for our flight home. I repeatedly asked what was going on and told him to call the police - to which he responded, 'nothing is going on... we are on holiday!' I felt physically sick to my stomach and just wanted to be back home as soon as possible. His girlfriend also acted like everything was fine and told us to stop talking about it.
I received a call from my mum's boyfriend telling me that my dad and her partner had spent the whole wedding slagging my boyfriend and I off... Apparently, when we stayed with them for the week a year back, I had gotten debilitatingly drunk and started a fight with an elderly man in a restaurant. This was what my dad's girlfriend was saying and my dad nodded along in agreement. They also said that my boyfriend and I were sponging off them and only saw them to get free meals.
I was completely in shock at the string of lies they were sharing with the rest of the family - and the family of my brother's bride. I asked my boyfriend what the hell she was talking about - when did I get drunk? When did I start a fight? He told me that none of it was true and that they were compulsive liars. Why my mum's boyfriend felt the need to tell me, I don't know. He said they're crazy and I just need to stick it out until I got home.
As soon as we landed, I blocked my dad and his girlfriend on everything. I went to therapy and, two years later, I'm still working through whatever the hell that was. My boyfriend and I have changed irreparably and we don't feel like the same people anymore. I know that nobody here is going to believe me, but I need to vent. I cried on the phone to my mum later and asked her why she would leave us like that. She told me that I need to grow up and her shop is her only source of income.
I spent the whole of the next year trying to sustain a relationship with my mum and her partner but I've concluded that they're all as bad as each other, and here I am, alone! I don't know if my relationship will last. I'm on the highest dose of fluoxetine, and, even with that, I feel completely changed and negative about the world around me.
Anyway, I wanted to post here because I'm not a particularly social person. I don't really have any friends and even if I had - who would ever believe me? It sounds absolutely bonkers, and it is, but I know I'm not the only one who's been through something like this. I don't mean to dismiss them as 'crazy'. I know my family are very mentally unwell and God knows what happened in their own lives to make them this way.
If anyone has taken the time to read this, thank you. I don't expect any acknowledgement from you, but I needed to vent about this to someone.
I eventually left home and went to university, and my mother always seemed to resent me for going (she married and had us very young). Neither of them were very warm people and my mother would always try to control me and hold me back, telling me how to behave and even to dress. She had no emotional connection to anyone but always doted on my brother. Even if I shared similar traits, they were painted as negative when they related to me.
I'm now grown up, living in the city, with a humble but stable job. I have a boyfriend of 6 years, who admittedly I moved in with very quickly, having had to return post-uni to live with my mum. I've always tried to maintain a distant-but-civil relationship with both parents, even though my dad thought my university work was boring (he's only interested in motor racing) and my mum attempts to control everything I say or do even now.
I hadn't spoken to my dad in a long time as we'd grown apart, and I made the mistake of meeting up with him and his new partner a few years back. I had gone to his new home and spent a whole week with them. During this time, my dad had acted like he'd missed me so much and showered me with gifts and dinners, despite my boyfriend and I insisting that we'd pay. We stayed in a chalet there and, though there wasn't much to do, walked around and tried to catch up on life. I thought everything was fine.
Fast-forward to the following year and my twin brother is getting married overseas! We've always had a strained relationship, too, but my boyfriend encouraged us to go as he thought it'd be the right thing to do. Long story short... my dad had a psychotic breakdown at the wedding after an 'argument' with my brother. I still don't know what about. He shoved my boyfriend and I into a taxi with his partner and told us the 'Dubai Mafia' were after us and were going to kill us. Apparently my brother had set them on to us as we'd insulted him at his wedding.
My boyfriend and I were scared and confused and had no idea what was going on with my father. I tried calling other family members to say he'd had a breakdown (my mum was also there with her new boyfriend) but she insisted that she needed to fly back home as she had a shop to tend to(!). I knew that nobody was after us, but I was in a foreign country with little money, no Internet/signal, and I was terrified of how my father was acting.
He booked us into hotels and made us move between them every other day to 'cover our tracks' until it was finally time for our flight home. I repeatedly asked what was going on and told him to call the police - to which he responded, 'nothing is going on... we are on holiday!' I felt physically sick to my stomach and just wanted to be back home as soon as possible. His girlfriend also acted like everything was fine and told us to stop talking about it.
I received a call from my mum's boyfriend telling me that my dad and her partner had spent the whole wedding slagging my boyfriend and I off... Apparently, when we stayed with them for the week a year back, I had gotten debilitatingly drunk and started a fight with an elderly man in a restaurant. This was what my dad's girlfriend was saying and my dad nodded along in agreement. They also said that my boyfriend and I were sponging off them and only saw them to get free meals.
I was completely in shock at the string of lies they were sharing with the rest of the family - and the family of my brother's bride. I asked my boyfriend what the hell she was talking about - when did I get drunk? When did I start a fight? He told me that none of it was true and that they were compulsive liars. Why my mum's boyfriend felt the need to tell me, I don't know. He said they're crazy and I just need to stick it out until I got home.
As soon as we landed, I blocked my dad and his girlfriend on everything. I went to therapy and, two years later, I'm still working through whatever the hell that was. My boyfriend and I have changed irreparably and we don't feel like the same people anymore. I know that nobody here is going to believe me, but I need to vent. I cried on the phone to my mum later and asked her why she would leave us like that. She told me that I need to grow up and her shop is her only source of income.
I spent the whole of the next year trying to sustain a relationship with my mum and her partner but I've concluded that they're all as bad as each other, and here I am, alone! I don't know if my relationship will last. I'm on the highest dose of fluoxetine, and, even with that, I feel completely changed and negative about the world around me.
Anyway, I wanted to post here because I'm not a particularly social person. I don't really have any friends and even if I had - who would ever believe me? It sounds absolutely bonkers, and it is, but I know I'm not the only one who's been through something like this. I don't mean to dismiss them as 'crazy'. I know my family are very mentally unwell and God knows what happened in their own lives to make them this way.
If anyone has taken the time to read this, thank you. I don't expect any acknowledgement from you, but I needed to vent about this to someone.