Therapist engaging with parts I don’t have

[Boston]

Hi all,
I have a psychologist who is intelligent, empathetic and trained in trauma BUT I don’t agree with her that I have “parts”. I do have complex PTSD but I feel she is making me crazy / dysregulated by insisting that I sometimes show up to therapy presenting in a different way. She asked me in the last session: “where is Judy?” And I kept saying I’m right here but she insisted there was another “part” showing up but not me. WTF! I stopped therapy for 2 weeks (because I didn’t feel safe enough to share how dysregulated I was) and am trying again but I’m concerned that this type of therapy could harm me. She initially diagnosed me with DID and recently, I believe, changed the diagnosis to DDNOS. I like this therapist and have been working wt her for 2 & 1/2 years but I’m quite sure I don’t have DID / DDNOS and now I feel much more fragmented & confused because she keeps asking and talking to me about parts. I don‘t have parts. I am an adult with complex PTSD. I don’t want to leave this therapist - it would break my heart. I’m not sure what to do.

 

[Boston]

and I did talk with her about it after taking 2 weeks off. After a super uncomfortable almost combative session she did agree to switch to supportive therapy. She shared that she thought I became dysregulated because I’ve been hiding these parts / ways of being for years BUT I believe I became dysregulated because she was insisting I have parts when I honestly do not. I rely on her as an expert and it’s deeply unsettling when she insists I’m disassociated / fragmented - when I’m not. I’m just speaking with her in a therapy session. I’m moody and immature so perhaps that’s what looks like parts? my psychologist is way too educated to be making this kind of mistake - post grad degrees, etc…. She said from an ethics point of view she felt she had to share how I was showing up and that it is not normal

 

[Sideways]

she was insisting I have parts when I honestly do not.

I’d tell her this.

Educated or not, that’s not how to deal with dysregulation even if you’ve agreed on a diagnosis of DID, let alone when you haven’t!

 

[Kelly Jo]

I am so sorry you had this experience with your therapist. I am a therapist and feel strongly that this is not a healing or respectful way to be with people. Its important that you feel heard, validated, and respected in therapy. There are many modalities for therapists to choose from - that is the beauty of our profession - it's not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. I always seek permission and guidance from clients about what works for them and the direction and approach in which to work with them. Clients should feel respected and empowered and it should be a collaborative process. After being with the same therapist for so long, I can imagine this is very difficult for you. I encourage you to keep being clear with her about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. In time, if it does not improve, you may want to consider whether the relationship is in your best interest.

 

[beaneeboo]

Hi @Boston, reading your post got me quite frustrated on your behalf.... You shouldn't ever feel like you're going crazy as a result of a therapist's way of working with you.. you have a strong gut feeling with what is right and what's not, so stick with that... Even if there were something correct in what she's saying, I don't think she's handling it well at all...

Its important that you feel heard, validated, and respected in therapy.

this 1000%

There are many modalities for therapists to choose from - that is the beauty of our profession - it's not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. I always seek permission and guidance from clients about what works for them and the direction and approach in which to work with them. Clients should feel respected and empowered and it should be a collaborative process.

Yes! This is what she should be doing with you!

After being with the same therapist for so long, I can imagine this is very difficult for you. I encourage you to keep being clear with her about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. In time, if it does not improve, you may want to consider whether the relationship is in your best interest.

I also feel this.

T needs to know that he approach so far is not working for you. There's no where to go with therapy with her if she continues down that route with you if you're openly letting her know you don't agree with what she's saying. I can imagine how difficult that may feel if you've already built a real rapport with her. Tell her that too maybe.

 

[whiteraven]

I’m quite sure I don’t have DID / DDNOS and now I feel much more fragmented & confused because she keeps asking and talking to me about parts. I don‘t have parts.

I was 1000% sure I didn't have DID. But it's very common for insiders/parts to present to someone and you not be aware. What makes you certain you don't have parts?

BUT I believe I became dysregulated because she was insisting I have parts when I honestly do not.

Well, it's possible you don't, but how do you know for sure?

 

[Friday]

Find a new therapist.