Therapist engaging with parts I don’t have


New Here
Hi all,
I have a psychologist who is intelligent, empathetic and trained in trauma BUT I don’t agree with her that I have “parts”. I do have complex PTSD but I feel she is making me crazy / dysregulated by insisting that I sometimes show up to therapy presenting in a different way. She asked me in the last session: “where is Judy?” And I kept saying I’m right here but she insisted there was another “part” showing up but not me. WTF! I stopped therapy for 2 weeks (because I didn’t feel safe enough to share how dysregulated I was) and am trying again but I’m concerned that this type of therapy could harm me. She initially diagnosed me with DID and recently, I believe, changed the diagnosis to DDNOS. I like this therapist and have been working wt her for 2 & 1/2 years but I’m quite sure I don’t have DID / DDNOS and now I feel much more fragmented & confused because she keeps asking and talking to me about parts. I don‘t have parts. I am an adult with complex PTSD. I don’t want to leave this therapist - it would break my heart. I’m not sure what to do.
and I did talk with her about it after taking 2 weeks off. After a super uncomfortable almost combative session she did agree to switch to supportive therapy. She shared that she thought I became dysregulated because I’ve been hiding these parts / ways of being for years BUT I believe I became dysregulated because she was insisting I have parts when I honestly do not. I rely on her as an expert and it’s deeply unsettling when she insists I’m disassociated / fragmented - when I’m not. I’m just speaking with her in a therapy session. I’m moody and immature so perhaps that’s what looks like parts? my psychologist is way too educated to be making this kind of mistake - post grad degrees, etc…. She said from an ethics point of view she felt she had to share how I was showing up and that it is not normal
I am so sorry you had this experience with your therapist. I am a therapist and feel strongly that this is not a healing or respectful way to be with people. Its important that you feel heard, validated, and respected in therapy. There are many modalities for therapists to choose from - that is the beauty of our profession - it's not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. I always seek permission and guidance from clients about what works for them and the direction and approach in which to work with them. Clients should feel respected and empowered and it should be a collaborative process. After being with the same therapist for so long, I can imagine this is very difficult for you. I encourage you to keep being clear with her about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. In time, if it does not improve, you may want to consider whether the relationship is in your best interest.